YE GODS!!
by Rebecca the Great
Summary: G-boys! Greek deities! Humor! Action! Fluff! 2+5/5+2 and 3+4/4+3! ^_~
1. Prolouge: Aphrodite's Day Off

Author's Note: Hello minna-san! I'm writing a series! An actual series! Isn't that weird? This is just the beginning. Kinda need to read it, or the next bit won't really make sense. Shounen ai to come, weirdness.   
  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing isn't mine. Certain liberties have been taken in representing Greek mythological figures. This fic was written after a long period of writers' block. Flames will be used to toast marshmallows for smores. ^_^  
  
  
  
On a cloud somewhere...  
  
Aphrodite reclined in her pink plastic lawn chair as she drank her strawberry margarita, glad of a break. She'd been working overtime lately, what with all the new sparks and the old flames and yadda yadda yadda. She didn't want to think about it. She wanted to relax.  
  
She gazed around her at the immaculately white surroundings fom over her pink heart-shaped sunglasses. She tossed her wavy blonde hair over her shoulders, letting the sunlight catch the shimmering pink streaks in it. She figetted in her seat, rearranging her pink satin-and-lace outfit, crossing her legs in different positions. Finally she sighed in frustration.  
  
The Goddess of Love and Beauty was bored. Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored. With a capital "B." B-O-R-E-D.  
  
"I need something to occupy my time," she said to herself {1}. "But all those soap-operas are so fake. I need something more real. With love. And comedy. But...it's my day off, who am I going to sucker into doing this for me."  
  
She frowned in concentration, worrying her lower lip. Then she smiled.  
  
"Eros! Thalia!" she called.  
  
After a few moments, a rather dishevelled Eros appeared with a puff of white smoke. He held his short white loin-cloth up with one hand, and Aphrodite gave him a dry look when she saw the hickies on his navel. He was saved the embarrassment of explaining by the arrival of Thalia.  
  
A thick cloud of purple smoke heralded her entrance, along with a fanfare of kazoos.   
  
"Ta-daahhackackack!!," a voice said, dissolving into a fit of coughing. A girl stumbled out of the smoke, falling to the ground - er, cloud - next to Aphrodite, who just rolled her eyes. Eros sighed, and helped the violet-haired girl to her feet with his free hand.  
  
"Thanks Erry," she said with a wink and a grin. Then she staightened her purple toga and turned to face the goddess. "You rang?"  
  
"Yes. I'm in need of amusement - "  
  
"Well you called the right girl," Thalia interrupted. "Whaddaya like? Slapstick?"  
  
A dozen banana cream pies came pelting out of no where. The two love deities dodged and glared at her.  
  
"No. I want-"  
  
"Stand-up comedy, maybe?" the girl suggested, taking a microphone from behind her back. "What is the deal with sporks? I mean, it's not a spoon, and it's not a fork. It's the result of radiation on a silverware drawer. And who actually uses sporks? Does anyone go home for Thanksgiving, thinking about how nice it'll be to use the good china and the heirloom sporks?"  
  
"No stand up!" Aphrodite cried. She glared at Thalia until the girl put away the microphone sulkily. "I want you two to find an unlikely couple for me and get them together. With comedy. But no stand-up. I mean it!"  
  
"All right! No stand-up. You only had to say," the muse said, sounding a bit miffed.  
  
"Right. I'll be watching from my scrying pool. Good luck," she said, then snapped her fingers,{2} and disappeared in a puff of pink smoke, margaurita and lawn chair included.  
  
Eros glared at Thalia.  
  
"What? What'd I do?"  
  
"Don't mess this up, okay? This could be my chance to prove to Mom I can be more than just a sidekick. I'm sick of everyone thinking I'm some stupid little cherub," the God of Love said, striking a pose with wide white wings extened and arms akimbo. Unfortunately, this made him let go of his loin-cloth. He realized this in just enough time to catch it, much to Thalia's disappointment.  
  
"I'll be on my best behavior," she promised, then smiled deviously. "So...who're the victims?"  
  
"I think I'll decide. You aren't really qualified for the romance part. You're just here for comic relief," Eros said with a smug expression.  
  
"Hey! I bet I could be great matchmaker if I tried!" she protested.  
  
"Sure you could," he said in a partonizing tone, snapping his fingers to make a gold cord appear in his hands. He proceeded to belt his loincloth with it. "Just like you could write love poetry."  
  
Thalia blushed.  
  
"Well, you were the one who believed me that it was written by Erato. I didn't make you read it to Psyche," she said defensively.  
  
"Yeah, but I still got the cold shoulder for a week because of it."  
  
Thalia examined the hickies pointedly. It was Eros's turn to blush.  
  
"Seems she's gotten over it," she remarked dryly.  
  
"Hn. {3} Well, I still think I should choose the couple."  
  
"Like Tartarus you will! I bet I could get exact opposites to fall in love better than you could."  
  
"How, by making them laugh at each other all day?" he sneered.  
  
"It'd make more sense than shooting them with arrows," she replied hotly, gesturing to the bow and quiver on his shoulders.  
  
"Well, if you're so sure about opposites, what about sames? Say two guys?" Eros challenged.  
  
"Piece of cake," Thalia said without pausing.  
  
"Care to make a bet?"  
  
"What's the bet?" was her wary question.  
  
"That you mess up the whole thing and I have to bail you out," he said with an annoying grin. He dodged Thalia's expected swing, but just barely.  
  
"And ~I~ bet that you'll get a faceful of lemon-maurange pie before this thing is over with," she said sweetly. "But all this still leaves the question of who. Why don't we each choose one?"  
  
Eros nodded grudgingly and snapped his fingers, puffing them both to a place beside a large flat pool of water. Thalia gazed into the water, looking for a person from which to start. She found him in a nearby plain of existance.  
  
He was sixteen and of American descent. Mostly. But there was something else - something elusive about him, something that called to her even as it hid from her senses. She gave him a good looking over. He wore black swim trunks and was bare chested at the moment. He was laughing at something while sitting beside a swimming pool. Those violet eyes, that manic grin, that *braid*...  
  
"Thalia, may I assume by your drool that you've found someone you like?"  
  
"Shut up," she snapped, blushing slightly. "Yes, I have. Duo Maxwell. Now you find his oppsite."  
  
Eros turned to look into the pool. He wanted someone more introverted, more thoughtful and philosophical. Someone who could stabilize the sometimes-too-spontaneous boy while not suffocating him. Someone a bit more...inexperienced in the ways of love...  
  
"Here he is. You like?"  
  
"Oh," Thalia said, gazing at the image in the pool next to her own. A dark-haired boy with slanted almond eyes the color of ebony sat meditating at the foot of a large humanoid machine, a gundam. "He's just as yummy as Duo. Chang Wufei? Isn't it odd that they already know each other?"  
  
Eros just shrugged.  
  
"Are you sure they're gay?" she asked absentmindedly, still pondering what it was about Duo that was bothering her. She wondered vaguely if Eros noticed it, too.  
  
"No," he smiled maliciously. "But that's just part of the challenge, isn't it?"  
  
"Hn. Bring it on, cherub-boy!" she said, bringing her attention to the present and shoving him away with a feral grin. She then dove into the pool with a cackle. With a growl, Eros followed, being instantly transported. He had a feeling it was going to be a long weekend.  
  
  
  
Footnotes:  
  
Eros is the Greek name for Cupid. Thalia is the Muse of Comedy. Erato is the Muse of Love Poetry. Tartarus is the hell-like part of the Underworld. The Underworld is also known as Hades, and it can get confusing as Hades is also the name of the God of the Underworld.  
  
{1}- It is well-known that gods and goddesses talk to themselves constantly. Like soap-opera characters, in fact.  
  
{2}- Another well-known fact is that gods and goddesses have to snap their fingers to use their powers. Strange, isn't it?  
  
{3}- They said this even in ancient Greece. No, really.  
  
  
Well so ends the prolouge. What did yall think? A bit slow, yes, but the next part is better.   
  
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! Please? *kissykissy*  
  
Chibi-Eros: Ewwww! Girls have cooties!  
  
Chibi-Thalia: Ewwww! Eros is a cherub!  
  
Chibi-Eros: Am not!  
  
Chibi-Thalia: Are too!  
  
Chibi-Eros: Am not!  
  
Chibi-Thalia: Are too!  
  
Chibi-Eros: Am NOT! ::pouts, making him look very much like a cherub::  
  
::rolls eyes:: Anywho, if you review I won't sic cherub-Eros - ::receives death glare:: - I mean, Chibi-Eros on you. ^_^ 


	2. Chapter One: Quatre Meets a Muse

Author's Note: Okay, here's the first official chapter of my short weird little story. Maybe now the G-boys will understand how we fanfic authors feel being pestered by muses day and night... ^_^ Oh, yeah, thoughts are between these cute little deally bobbers * * and these ~ ~ are for emphasis.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own any characters yadda yadda yadda, but the interpretation of Greek mythological figures is - ahem - "unique" and no one else can have them! Shounen ai, if you don't like it don't read it, and characters probably OOC. Keep out of the reach of children, store in a cool dry place, read warning lables before using, and KEEP AWAY FROM FLAMES!  
  
  
  
Quatre lounged outside his mansion by the pool, trying to take advantage of a mission-free period. With OZ's new beefed-up security, he doubted they'd be able to do anything much for a while. So he was trying to relax while he had the time.  
  
By some strange circumstances, it'd been safer for all the pilots to join him at the nearest Winner-owned home {1}. Next to him, Duo slept on his belly. Quatre considered waking him before he got a sunburn, but he looked too peaceful. Heero was swimming laps in the pool as a training exercise, and Wufei was off worshipping Nataku. Trowa was sitting in his swim trunks in the shade, reading a book. Quatre sighed quietly as he took in every detail of the tall boy.  
  
* He's so handsome. I wonder what he's reading? And you've got to love the way his bangs fall over his eye from that angle... * he thought dreamily.  
  
A sudden shout of cackling laugher snapped him out of his reverie. He glanced around sharply, looking for the source. There was no one there. And no one else seemed to have heard...  
  
"Hah! Here he is, Erry! You go get the other one," a female voice brimming with mischief declared with another round of manic giggles.  
  
"Thalia, shut up! They'll hear you!" a baritone voice warned.  
  
"No they won't. None of them are psychic enough to tell a god from a poltergeist," the girl's voice said.  
  
"I think that blonde one is. Hey, Blondie! Can you hear us?"  
  
Quatre gave a slight, dazed nod, a bit worried that he was hearing voices in his head.  
  
"There, you see?" the male voice said with a combination of smugness and irritation. "You haven't even been at this for five minutes and you've blown our cover already. You're sooo going to lose."  
  
"Shut up," the voice identified as Thalia said tartly. "I think I can still turn this to our advantage."  
  
"Oh yeah? How?"  
  
"Like this. Hey, Blondie! Go somewhere private! We wanna talk to you!"  
  
Quatre hesitated.  
  
C'mon, we won't bite. Well, not unless you want us to..." the girl said insinuatingly.  
  
"Perv," the boy said under his breath. The girl ignored him.  
  
"Please kid? For the sake of love and under threat of eternal damnation to Tartarus?" she pleaded sweetly.  
  
Quatre wondered if jumping into the pool would shock him out of this hallucination. He'd been out in the sun for far too long; the heat was really getting to him.  
  
"You go someplace private," Thalia said, her tone suddenly threatening. "Or I'll....I'll sing."  
  
"You wouldn't dare," the male voice said after a short pause.  
  
"Oh no?"  
  
"Blondie, if you don't get moving right now, it's both our ears," he said urgently.  
  
"Memememememeeeeeeeee!" She was starting her warm-ups.  
  
Quatre winced. If the horrible singing voice hadn't been in his head, it would've shattered glass.  
  
"Uh, guys, I'm going to get something to drink. Anyone else want anything?" he asked, standing. Duo slept on obliviously, and Heero hadn't heard. Trowa looked from his book to Quatre.  
  
"I'd like whatever you're having," he said quietly.  
  
For some reason, his gaze was eliciting a slight blush from the Arabian, who nodded shyly before turning to walk into the house. He found his way to the kitchen, then quickly checked to make sure no one was nearby.  
  
"Who are you? What are you? Why are you talking to me?" he demanded when his searched proved no one was there.  
  
"I'm Thalia, the Muse of Comedy, and my co-worker here is Eros, the God of Looooove," the female voice said teasingly.  
  
"The...muse of comedy and the god of love?" Quatre asked faintly.  
  
"Yes," said Eros.  
  
"Ummm..." Quatre said intelligently. "Why are you in my head?"  
  
Thalia laughed.  
  
"Poor kid! Thinks we're in his head!" she giggled. Quatre frowned at being called a kid.  
  
"We're not in your head, but that's where you hear us. See, we aren't comepletely material in you plane of existance right now, so most people can't hear us when we speak. But psychics are partially in our plane of existance, so they can 'hear' us in their heads," Eros explained patiently. "What's your name?"  
  
"I'm Quatre Winner. So if you're not in my head, where are you? And why are you talking to me?"  
  
"Erry, I think we should show ourselves to him. It might prove to him that he's not going insane," Thalia said dryly. "Besides, what more harm could it do? We've already blown our cover."  
  
Eros sighed gustily.  
  
"All right. But only to him. We're already going to be in trouble with Mom," he grumbled.  
  
With a snapping sound and puffs of purple and white smoke, two other people were standing in the kitchen. One was a pretty, short teen-aged girl with violet hair and eyes in a toga of the same color. She grinned at him and gave him a wink. The other was tall, well-muscled, tanned boy in his late teens, wearing only a white loosely-belted loincloth. Over his shoulders were slung a bow and quiver. White wings behind him were half outstretched, and wavy sand-colored hair hung in a short mane around his head. {2} Quatre tried to keep from drooling.  
  
"Well we know who ~he~ likes better," Thalia observed with a larger grin. Quatre tore his eyes away from the young god, and blushed.  
  
"If I'm going mad I may as well enjoy my hallucinations," he said philosophically.  
  
"We ain't no hallucinations, kid," she chuckled.  
  
"Why are you here?" he asked, now quite annoyed at being called kid.  
  
"We are on a mission of great importance for Aphrodite herself," Eros said, drawing himself up proudly.  
  
"Really? And this mission is?" he asked, resigning himself to the situation.  
  
"Can I tell him? Maybe he could help. It would make things easier," the muse said reasonably. The winged teen considered for a moment, then shrugged.  
  
"You can't make things much worse."  
  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, pal," she said dryly, then turned to Quatre. "We're here to hook up a couple of your friends. Duo and his opposite, to be exact."  
  
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but Duo doesn't like Heero. Well, not as a lover anyway. And we're all pretty sure Heero is asexual or something, {3} so -"  
  
"who said anything about Heero?" Eros asked with a slightly surprised look. "Duo's opposite is Wufei. I thought it was obvious."  
  
Quatre's eyebrows shot up.  
  
"~Wufei?~ But - but he doesn't even ~like~ Duo!" he exclaimed.  
  
"That's the whole point of assigning matchmakers. Duh," Thalia said, as if the inner workings of divine intervention in people's love lives were common knowledge. "Will you help us?"  
  
"I don't know... I mean, I know they're both lonely, but..." he trailed off, not knowing exactly what he was objecting to.  
  
"C'mon. You'll be bringing two hearts together in eternal bliss," she coaxed with a winning smile.  
  
"Well..."  
  
"We could make it worth your while," she added with a wink.  
  
"......." Quatre said succinctly, then wondered if he had been hanging around Trowa too long. Then he sighed. He could never hang around Trowa too much...  
  
"Quatre," a quiet voice from behind him spoke. He jumped and whirled to see Trowa standing in the doorway.  
  
"Oh, Trowa. You startled me," he said, wondering how long the unibanged boy had been standing there. He felt a blush coming on, suddenly aware that all he had on was his swim trunks.  
  
"You were taking so long with the drinks I thought I'd come see if you needed help," Trowa said, detatching himself from the doorframe to stand next to him.  
  
"Sorry," the blonde boy apologized with a small smile.  
  
"Who's this?" Thalia inquired interestedly from somewhere very close to his ear. He just barely restrained another jump. "He's cute."  
  
"So where are the drinks?"  
  
"I - ah - haven't gotten them yet. I didn't know if you would prefer soda or lemonade," he invented glibly, giving the taller boy a patented innocent look.  
  
"Awww, you're cute too," the violet-haired girl said with a giggle.  
  
"It doesn't matter. Anyway, Duo woke up and he's thirsty," Trowa informed him.  
  
"Well, I'll make a pitcher of lemonade and be right out," Quatre said, gently trying to push Trowa back out the door. "I'll bring out some snacks, too; he'll probably be hungry as well."  
  
"What're you trying to get rid of him for?" Thalia demanded, pouting.  
  
"Actually, I could help. You can't carry everything out yourself," Trowa said, taking Quatre's hands off his chest and looking down into the shorter boy's eyes. Quatre froze as liquid emeralds held his gaze.  
  
* I love his eyes * he thought.  
  
Then a giggle startled him, making him involuntarily jerk his hands out of Trowa's.  
  
"Are they all that sweet, Erry?"  
  
"Idiot!" was the responce. Quatre was inclined to agree.  
  
"All right," he said to Trowa, not meeting his eyes for fear of what he would see. "Could you get a pitcher from the pantry while I get the mix?"  
  
A nod was his only answer. Trowa left for the pantry, walking right through Thalia without noticing, who's already silly grin got sillier. Quatre felt a strange pang jealousy.  
  
"Thanks a lot," he whispered sarcastically. "Some matchmakers you two are."  
  
"Sorry, kid," the muse said, looking guilty and sincere. "But we can fix it. Right, Erry?"  
  
"What do you mean 'we?' You're the the one who messed up. But I could help if you help us," the God of Love said smoothly. "And you'd better get the mix out, your boyfriend is coming back."  
  
Quatre rushed to get the frozen tube of lemonade mix from the freezer. Just then Trowa came in, setting the pitcher on the counter. Watching the handsome pilot move, Quatre came to a decision.  
  
"You want Wufei and Duo together soon?" he asked in a whisper so quiet he himself could hardly hear it.  
  
"As soon as possible," Eros said.  
  
"Trowa, thanks a lot, but could you go get Wufei and bring him down to the pool? Since we're all going to be there anyway, I figured we could have lunch al fresco," he said, smiling hopefully.  
  
"Okay," Trowa said quietly, then left. Quatre sagged against the counter, then gave his strange companions and uninterpretable look.  
  
"Can you make yourselves solid?" he asked suddenly.  
  
"Yep. We ~are~ Gods, after all," Thalia said.  
  
"Well, do so. You're going to make sandwiches for five starved teenaged pilots," he said, beginning to make the lemonade. "The bread's over there, and the Miracle Whip, meat, and cheese are all in the fridge. Well? What are you waiting for?"  
  
The two Olympians exchanged looks. Thalia shrugged.  
  
"You gotta see the irony here," she said, then snapped her fingers. She began to get the ingredients out. Eros sighed and snapped his fingers, also becoming solid. He frowned as he began to spread Miracle Whip on the bread.  
  
"Say, Quatre, ever hear the one about the rabbi, the elephant, and the sky-diving stripper?" Thalia asked cheerfully.  
  
"Er-"  
  
"Good! So this rabbi walks into a bar -"  
  
Quatre sighed. The things one did for love...  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
{1}- Yeah, 'home.' More like fifty-room mansion with two olympic-sized pools, eight tennis courts, three personal gyms, six acres of grounds, and a mobile suit hangar.  
  
{2}- Eros: Hey! I'm hot! ::struts::   
  
Quatre, Thalia ::drool::  
  
He's so humble.  
  
{3}- No, he isn't able to reproduce by himself! (icky thought, ne?) I mean, he isn't interested in ANYONE, male or female. I am NOT a HYxRP fan, and I don't want Heero getting in the way of my Fei-chan. ^_^  
  
Well, all I can say is poor Quatre. Now, about reviews... Eros?  
  
Eros ::nocks an arrow with a heart-shaped point to his bow and aims at the readers::  
  
If you don't review, Eros will make you fall in love with the nearest rabid wart hog. So it's really in your best interest to review. PLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSE????? Arigato! ^_^ 


	3. Chapter Two: Wrath of the Love Goddess

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey y'all! Well, here's chapter two. Despite several sugar buzzes I've managed to write something that isn't ~complete~ mindless babble!! Isn't that the strangest thing? Eros and Thalia have moved in with me. I think they've made themselves my personal muses.  
  
Eros: ::sickeningly sincere:: We really want to help you out. I think you have real talent.  
  
Thalia: ::snorts:: You're only here because Psyche said she liked men who inspire people.  
  
Eros: ::blushes:: Then what are you here for?  
  
Thalia: I'm bored and buzzed. I also love to annoy people until they do what I tell them.  
  
You're a true muse, Thalia. _ Anywho, on with the fic. Thoughts are between these pretty little stars * * and squiggly lines ~ ~ are for emphasis.  
  
Disclaimer: Ummmm. I don't own the G-boys and the representation of certain Greek mythological figures is ~very~ liberal. Shounen ai, if you don't like it, SCRAM!! POV switches in this one, characters still most likely OOC. Flames? Why would anyone flame li'l ol' me? ::innocent look::  
  
  
  
On a cloud somewhere...  
  
Aphrodite frowned down at her scrying pool, watching Eros and Thalia making sandwiches. This wouldn't do at all. ~Her~ son, obeying the orders of some mortal upstart! Thalia she could almost forgive, her being a lowly muse and all, but Eros really should know better. She frowned at the rippling pool as her son set his bow and quiver down to pick up a tray of sandwiches. That did it! She'd teach him to forget his godliness!   
  
She snapped her fingers and a bolt of pink lightning appeared in her hands. She frowned prettily, then twisted the lightning into a spear-shape. She hurled it through the pool then smiled smugly. This would certainly be better than soap operas.  
  
  
  
Quatre peered around the corner at the pool. It was empty, as well as the patio around it. He wondered where everyone went, but was relieved because the coast was clear. He looked back over his shoulder and gave a low whistle. He carried his tray of sandwiches out and set it on the table. Thalia came out cautiously, floating a few inces above the ground and carrying a large pitcher of lemonade and a stack of glasses. Eros soared gracefully behind her, holding another tray of sandwiches and some cheap paper plates with a modicum of distaste.  
  
"Hurry, you guys, I'm not sure where the others went and they could show up any second," Quatre warned as they set their burdens on a table on the patio next to the pool.  
  
"No need to worry, Blondie," Thalia reassured him. "The first sign of anyone else, we'll just disappear."  
  
The was a sudden flash of pink accompanied by the sound of thunder. Quatre winced from the nearness of it and looked puzzledly at the sky, which was cloudless. He frowned. That was odd. Then a sudden ~thud~ from beside him drew his attention.   
  
Eros and Thalia had both fallen to the ground, unconscious.   
  
* Oh dear. This can't be good. * he thought, filling a cup with water from the pool and splashing it over the two immortals, hoping it'd do some good. It did; both awoke sputtering.  
  
"Wh-what happened?" Quatre asked, a bit shaken that something could do that to gods.  
  
"That was one of Mom's thunderbolts," Eros told him, shaking his head to clear it.  
  
"Why'd she do that?" Quatre asked.  
  
"I don't know. But I'm going to find out," he replied, then snapped his fingers.  
  
Well, tried to anyway. His fingers made no sound other than a soft thud. Eros paled and tried again. Still he couldn't snap.{1}  
  
"Oh no. She didn't," he whispered disbelievingly. "Thalia, you try."  
  
The muse, equally pale, swallowed and snapped her fingers. The result was the same. Her purple eyes widened, and she began trying to snap frantically to no avail.  
  
"Nooooooo! How ~could~ she? She's cruel! Here we are, doing her a favor, and she goes and takes away our powers!" she wailed.  
  
Quatre was now a bit upset.   
  
"You mean you can't make yourselves invisible anymore?"  
  
Just then the sound of voices from the direction of the mobile suit hangar drifted on a breeze to them. They froze for a second before both Thalia and Eros began to panic.  
  
"There's no where to hide! What're we going to do?" Thalia whispered, eyes even wider.  
  
"Eros! You've still got your wings! Take Thalia and fly to the other side of the house!" Quatre hissed, shoving the stunned girl at him. Wasting no time, Eros lifted her into his arms and leapt. His wings spread wide, flashing white as he pumped them to glide up and around the house. He'd just disappeared around the corner when the four other pilots materialized from the opposite one.   
  
"Quatre! I hope you got food, 'cause I'm ~starving~!" Duo shouted at him.  
  
Quatre tried to quell his nervousness as he gave a large warm smile.   
  
"Sure do! Lots of it, too. Where'd you all go anyway?" he asked, thinking furiously. Despite the recent events, he wanted to hold up his part of the bargain with Eros and Thalia, and there was no time like the present to start matchmaking. But ~how~ to start?  
  
"- and Heero had to get his laptop from Wing, and I was bored just sitting out here by myself," Duo was saying as he grabbed a plate and put four sandwiches on it. "Geeze, didja make enough sandwiches?"  
  
Everyone else sat down, Heero between Quatre and Duo, and Trowa next to Quatre. It worked out perfectly, the only place left was next to Duo. Wufei frowned slightly before sinking into the chair, looking for all the world like he didn't much care for the American. But a quick darting glance somewhat belied that image of uncaring. Quatre blinked and wondered why he hadn't noticed before. Maybe these two wouldn't be so hard to get together after all.  
  
"Quatre! Quaaatre! Earth to Quatre!" Duo was saying, waving a hand in front of his face. Quatre blinked again.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"You're a space case today! I said, do you have any chips or somethin'? A sandwich isn't a sandwich without chips to completment it," he explained.   
  
"There's probably something in the pantry," Quatre replied airily.  
  
"Right. I'll got get some. Anyone want anything else? Heero? Trowa? 'Fei?" Quatre caught the slight change of tone when Duo said Wufei's nickname. He almost smiled.  
  
* I wonder if Eros and Thalia know that they're already in love. *  
  
"No," Wufei said, looking irritated. "And don't call me "'Fei". My name is Wufei. Not Wu-chan, not Fei-chan, not Fei-man, not Wu-dude. Got it?"  
  
* No, probably not. *  
  
Duo just shrugged.  
  
"Whatever you say, Fei-babe."  
  
"Maxwell!"  
  
Duo just grinned and sprinted into the house. Quatre glanced sidelong at Trowa, who was silent. He was surprised to see Trowa looking at him as well. Their eyes met and he felt a flush come over his face. He offered a small apologetic smile, hoping the taller boy would understand what he was apologizing for. He was even more surprised when Trowa's lips twitched up ever so slightly, if only for a second. Apology accepted, apparently.  
  
"Trowa, pass the lemonade," Heero said, oblivious to the sweet moment he was breaking. Quatre sighed silently as Trowa looked away to comply. He could just cry, he really could.  
  
"COOOOOOOOL!!!"  
  
Everyone looked up as Duo exited the house. Even Heero was surprised by what he held. Quatre felt ill.   
  
Duo held Eros's bow and the quiver was slung over his shoulder. He drew an arrow and nocked it inexpertly, aiming at Wufei. Despite his distress, Quatre noted with a cynical raised eyebrow that the arrowhead was a red-pink heart-shape, pointy part at the tip.  
  
"Foul Sheriff of Wufei-ham! Stand and deliver, in the the name of Duo Hood!" Duo declared.  
  
"Duo! Put that down!" Quatre said, leaping to his feet.  
  
"Relax, Quatre! I'm not going to shoot it. Where'dja get this anyway? And why was it just laying in the kitchen?" Duo asked, lowering the point and slowly releasing the string tension.  
  
"It's not mine! I - er - am keeping it safe for - um - Rashid," he invented wildly. "So I really can't let you use it."  
  
"Awwww, c'mon, Quatre! I was just playin'," Duo objected, but didn't resist when Quatre took the bow, arrow, and quiver.  
  
"Well, I could let you, but then Rashid would probably kill you."  
  
"Oh, then by all means, let him have it," Wufei remarked dryly. Duo stuck his tongue out at him. Quatre resisted a smile again, knowing it would spoil his authority.  
  
* Hmmm. They might be in love with each other, but neither wants to admit it to the other. Maybe not even to themselves. How can I make them be together so they will be forced to find out?*  
  
"Fine, you guys be that way! I'm going to try and put some sunburn ointment on my back. I can't believe you would be so uncaring, Quatre, letting me sleep without suntan lotion on," Duo said with a teasing pout. "I'm like a lobster!"  
  
Quatre frowned, then got an idea. It would be a long shot, but if it worked, it might help break down the walls between Wufei and Duo.  
  
"Sorry," Quatre said sincerely. "I could help with that. But first I need to put this away. Wufei, would you help me? The best place is in the attic, and it takes two people to get the stairs down from the ceiling."  
  
Wufei looked puzzled at the request, but nodded. Quatre smiled, trying to keep self-satisfaction from it. He led Wufei inside the mansion and up to the third story. He hadn't lied that it took two people to open the heavy trap-door with stairs that led up to the attic. After depositing the bow and quiver in a safe place and closing the door again, Quatre feigned sudden rememberance.  
  
"I forgot to clear the table! I should go do that... Oh, what about Duo?" he frowned as if trying to figure a way out of this dilemma. He let his expression brighten. "Hey! Do you mind if you took care of Duo instead?"  
  
Wufei looked very surprised and opened his mouth to say something, but Quatre wouldn't let him even begin.  
  
"Thanks! The sunburn lotion is in the pantry {2} beside the painkillers and things. Bye!" Quatre called, walking away rapidly before Wufei could object. As soon as he turned a corner, he heaved a sigh of relief. That had been easier than he'd anticipated. Now, to see if it would work...  
  
  
On the ledge of the third story outside a window...  
  
"Well this sucks. We've lost our powers and I've lost my lucky whoopee cushion. This is perfect, just perfect," Thalia ranted. "And to top things off, we're stuck out on a frickin' ledge until Quatre tells us the coast is clear."  
  
"Shut up. If you hadn't blown our cover, Mom probably wouldn't have been so prone to fits of disciplinary action. I'm pretty sure that's why she did this," Eros said, flexing his wings anxiously. "I'll never be respected as a God now."  
  
He sounded so disappointed that Thalia ignored the insult and put a comforting arm around his shoulder.   
  
"Yeah, well, I'm never respected as a Goddess either. Aphrodite is just one of the many who don't appreciate me. I mean, I'm personally responsible for all the mirth in the world and yet no one ever says 'Hey, thanks, Thalia, for letting us be able to laugh at stuff once in a while.' People think they can get along without me, but even Heero Yuy laughs."  
  
Eros nodded, then blinked. He turned his head to stare skeptically at her. She gave him a mildly defensive look.  
  
"Well, granted it's demented, psychotic laughter, but he ~does~ laugh. Sometimes. If he's just blown something up." {3}  
  
Eros continued to stare at her, then began to chuckle. She grinned back at him, and they leaned against the wall. It seemed there was a temporary truce from their normal insulting banter. If they were going to be stuck on the same stupid ledge for a while, there was no need to make it more unbearable than it already was.  
  
Suddenly Eros jumped, startling Thalia. Unfortunately the ledge was norrow, making balance under calm situations difficult. When they both had caught their balance again after much flailing of arms, the muse turned to glare at him.  
  
"What's all that about?"  
  
"I just remembered! I left my bow and arrows in the kitchen!"  
  
Thalia paled. Something twinged in her mind, something about Duo Maxwell, but as soon as she tried to track the thought down it vanished. But a feeling of urgency remained.  
  
"We have to go get them," she said, knowing that Eros wouldn't disagree. "But how do we get in without being noticed?"  
  
Eros gave a small grin. "Very carefully."  
  
  
  
Wufei watched the little blonde hurry away with something between shock, suspicion, and excitement. What was he up to, anyway? He'd been acting odd all during lunch, and now this. But... could Wufei pass up the chance to have an excuse to touch Duo?  
  
* Don't think like that. It's weak to love someone who doesn't love you. *  
  
He really did ~not~ want to do this. He did not want to touch Duo. He was only doing this because Quatre left him no choice. Who'd want to touch such an infuriating, annoying, exasperating American who ~never~ SHUT UP?  
  
* Keep telling yourself that. Who're you trying to fool? *  
  
He tried to affect his normal detatched expression as he went down to the pantry and searched for the sunburn lotion. He grabbed a likely-looking tube that was bright red with a large orange sunburst on it and read the label. He very nearly meeped and a small trickle of blood dripped from his nose.  
  
* "Red Hot: Edible Cinnamon-Flavored Lubricant"???!!!" * {4}  
  
He put it down quickly, feeling a blush rising as he wiped the blood away. Part of his mind was trying to distract him with ideas of what ~interesting~ things he and Duo could do with the red little tube, but he firmly squelched it. Almost. He blushed harder and found the right container in a hurry, double-checking to make ~sure~ it was sunburn lotion. He was leaving the pantry when he ran head-long into Duo.   
  
"Hey! Watch it, Fei-babe!" Duo said, but he was grinning.  
  
"Gomen," Wufei said. He hoped his blush had faded. Then he glared. "Don't call me Fei-babe!"  
  
"Have you seen Quatre? My sunburn is really starting to chafe," Duo said, ignoring the reprimand entirely.  
  
"Actually, he had to go clean up lunch. He asked me to do it instead."  
  
  
  
Duo blinked. Wufei... was going to rub lotion on him. ~Wufei~ was going to rub lotion on him. Wufei was going to rub lotion on ~him~.   
  
* Don't blush don't blush don't blush don't blush *  
  
"Oh, all right. Where d'you want me?" he said easily.  
  
"Er... maybe outside in the shade..." Wufei said, looking at a spot six inches to the left of Duo's ear. Was Wufei ~blushing~? No, he didn't blush, it wasn't like him. It had to be a trick of the light. But even so, it was sooooo cuuuute!  
  
"Let's go then," he said with a gammon grin, taking Wufei's arm and tugging him out of the hallway and into the sunlight. He resisted a yawn. He was so tired. It was odd. He'd slept most of the morning and yet he was still sleepy, even more so than he'd been. Hn. Oh well, he could resist a little sleep if it meant ~Wufei~ was going to ~touch~ him. His smile became slightly wistful.  
  
* Too bad he doesn't like me, ne? And he seems pretty damn straight in the first place. But it's nice to pretend sometimes. *  
  
On the patio, Duo went one of the long deck chairs in the shade and sat astride it, twisting to look up at the still-standing Wufei. He gave a grin he knew to be oh-so-kawaii.  
  
"You gonna work your magic or do you need a written invitation?"  
  
"Hn," Wufei said, plopping gracefully behind him. Duo pulled his braid in front of him to allow Wufei better access. The cool aloe-gel came as a shock that made him stiffen, but he practically melted in a few seconds. His friend's touch was surprisingly gentle, and some deity really loved him, because Wufei wasn't just rubbing the ointment on him, he was giving Duo a ~massage~. It wasn't a severe poke as he'd half expected, or the excrutiatingly light tickle that had been his other fear, but a firm, muscle-relaxing squeeze. He tried to resist the instinct to lean into the contact, but soon lost that battle. He gave in with a few choice noises of pleasure.  
  
"Mmmm...Lower..." he commanded in a slightly husky voice. Wufei obeyed, and Duo pracically purred as he expertly worked the knots out of his shoulder blades. A faint tingling feeling ran down his spine that had nothing to do with the contact, but with ~who~ was making that contact... He wondered if Wufei's lips on his neck would feel as good as his hands did...  
  
* Don't blush don't blush.. Dammit! Does he ~know~ what effect he has on me? *  
  
"Oi, Fei-chan, how about I lay down, then you could get to my lower back better," he suggested. Wufei didn't respond, and his fingers continued as if he hadn't said anything. "Er - Wu-chan? 'Fei? Oh, fine, be a spoil-sport. Wufei?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"I said, 'How 'bout I lay down so you can get my lower back better?'" Duo repeated, glancing over his shoulder at him.  
  
"Okay." Wufei stood, and Duo rolled off to the side, taking the towel that had been cast across the chair and spreading it on the ground. He laid down on it and Wufei knelt beside him, resuming his ministrations. This felt sooo good...  
  
  
  
  
* This... this is torture... He doesn't even realize what this is doing to me. *  
  
Wufei was going to really regret letting Quatre force this on him, especially if he went and did something stupid, like try to kiss Duo's incredibly kissable-looking neck and shoulders. He was blushing again. And if that wasn't bad enough, Duo himself was no help at all. He kept humming low in his throat and arching up to meet Wufei's kneading hands, occasionally mumbling instructions in a tone that somehow seemed much more sensual than usual.  
  
* I've got an overactive imagination. Duo's probably straight, and even if he wasn't, he'd probably have a crush on Heero, the way he's always hanging around him. I've got no chance. None at all. *  
  
The thought did nothing to quell his raging hormones. He gritted his teeth and pulled his hands away. He had finished his original task a long time ago, and this massage was a weak way to sustain the contact. If he were truly strong, he'd be able to tell Duo how he felt and the consequences bedamned.  
  
"Du - ah, I mean, - Maxwell! Get up!" Wufei said, wiping his hands on his pants. "Your weak sunburn has been treated."  
  
Duo didn't move or make a sound. The baka of his dreams had fallen asleep. He resisted the sudden inexplicable urge to lay down next to him and drift off as well. He frowned and decided to wake him up.  
  
"Maxwell!" Wufei shouted in Duo's ear. No reaction. He frowned harder and shook Duo vigorously. "Duo, get up. you're not being cute and I'm not falling for your little prank."  
  
Duo's head lolled to one side and he remained unconscious.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note:  
  
{1}- That's why it's a stupid reason for gods to have a crutch like snapping to carry out their godly wills! By the way, that's the whole point of this fic, so don't look for another one 'cuz you won't find it!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!   
  
Thalia: She's just mad because she can't snap.  
  
{2}- Geeze, this pantry must be directly linked to spandex space. It's just so full of useful items, isn't it?  
  
{3}- Actually, I ~love~ Heero's psycho laugh! He's so ~cute~ when he starts cackling maniacally! ::ignores Heero giving her The Glare::  
  
{4}- Thalia: ::snickersnicker::  
  
Eros: ::raises eyebrows at Quatre::  
  
Quatre: ::turning bright red:: Um - er - uh ... HEYYYY! HOW'D ~THAT~ GET THERE?  
  
Good cover, Quatre. Wouldn't that stuff burn?  
  
Trowa: No. It only tastes like cinnamon. Right Quatre?  
  
Everyone: O_o  
  
Oh my...  
  
Quatre: -_-' ::blushing, gives Trowa a reproachful look::  
  
Trowa: What?  
  
Errr... nevermind... So, I've finished part two. REEEEEVVVIIIIEEEEWWWW!!! ARRRRRG!!!!! Eros, get your bow!  
  
Eros ::nocks a heart-tipped arrow and aims at readers::  
  
My little cherub-boy will make you fall madly in love with Dr. J if you don't review. Ja! ^_^ 


	4. Chapter Three: You Mean There's a PLOT?!

Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. Guess what? There might actually be a PLOT in this part!!! I know, it came as a surprise to me, too.   
  
Thalia ::to readers:: You think ~you're~ surprised!?  
  
Eros: Yeah! We're her muses and even ~we~ don't know where this came from...   
  
Don't mind them. It's not ~that~ out there... And it makes sense, you don't even have to think that hard about it. ::realizes she sounds desperate and sweatdrops:: But this means it's less humorous and more action-oriented. Ummm, oh yeah, and squiggly lines like these ~ ~ are for emphasis. And awaaaay we go!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own the G-boys, Greek mythological characters are represented "liberally." Shounen ai, switching of POV's, most likely OOC. I live in North Dakota. It's about -6 degrees outside. Flames will be appreciated!  
  
  
  
  
Heero peered around the corner of the hall, waiting until Wufei had left as well. It wasn't often he was overcome by his curiosity, but he found himself intrigued by the bow and quiver. He'd never before had a chance to examine such archaic weapons, and the Perfect Soldier was nothing if not opportunistic. He was pleasantly surprised to find that it would have been ~preferable~ to have two people to open the stairs to the attic, but not absolutely ~necessary~. He walked up them. Then he began to search the attic methodically until he found the bow and quiver.  
  
He picked them up and tested the bow's strength. He couldn't pull it back. He frowned and exerted more pressure. Still the bow would not bend. He clenched his teeth as he used his strength full force.   
  
~THWANG~  
  
Heero found himself sliding headfirst down the far wall. He landed with a dull ~thud~. The bow lay on the ground where he'd been standing, bowstring still humming. He blinked rapidly. Surely the faint red glow around it was just a result of the blow to his skull. He stood and shook his head to clear it before crossing over to the bow and picking it up. He fixed it with a poisonous glare and tried to figure out how Duo could use it and he couldn't. When the bow made no move to explain this, he dropped it unceremoniously.  
  
"Hn," he grunted, and turned to the quiver.   
  
He drew an arrow from it, examining the fine wooden shaft and expertly split feather fletchings. The arrow head itself appeared to be made of some sort of pinkish-red stone. The shape was lost on him. He tested the edge, then narrowed his eyes as the slightest brush gave him a thin cut on the pad of his thumb. That soft red glow glimmered around the arrowhead for a moment. He glared it into non-existance. Just like he glared at Relena...  
  
A silent yet almost - dreamy? - sigh escaped his lips as he thought of the girl he just could ~not~ kill. He caught himself just before he could break into a - wistful? - smile. What was wrong with him? He was thinking about ~Relena~ like that? He contained a shudder. He frowned and glared at the arrow in his hand. This was puzzling. Was there some sort of drug on it? He couldn't afford to start daydreaming about Relena with her beautiful eyes and golden-brown hair... He found himself unable to surpress a gag. {1}  
  
"Hn," he reiterated, shaking his head again. Definitely some sort of hallucinogen on the tip. He set it back in the quiver. He should go lie down for a while to get it out of his system... or better yet, he should take a cold shower. Hopefully afterwards he wouldn't feel so dirty...   
  
A sudden thud from the floor below him made him drop the quiver. In a flash he was halfway down the stairs, gun drawn and ready as he listened to the stream of blistering curses.   
  
"Shut up, Thalia, d'you wanna get us caught?"  
  
"Sorry, but ~some~ of us don't have wings to gracefully soar in through windows. We have to climb in like lowly ~mortals~," the girl's voice replied with scathing sarcasm. "Besides, this house is so big no one will hear us. Let's just get the bow and arrows and leave. Aphrodite can cram her 'entertainment' up her pretty little a- "  
  
"Freeze," Heero said tonelessly, having followed the voices to the room that was their source. Since the open door obscured his view, he could only see the girl, at whom he pointed the gun. She whirled to face him, looking chagrinned. He was surprised to see the purple toga, but kept his face carefully neutral.   
  
"'No one will hear us,'" the male he couldn't see mocked in a falsetto. "And it's the one with spandex, too. This misson just keeps getting better and better."  
  
"Shut up, Erry. You're not helping," the girl hissed, then spoke to Heero. "Don't shoot us, please? We don't mean you any harm. We just want the bow and quiver."  
  
"Who are you and who sent you?" he demanded as he cocked the gun. "OZ?"  
  
"OZ? What the Tartarus is OZ? ~We're~ from - "  
  
"Don't tell him, Thalia. Mom's gonna be pissed off as it is."  
  
"Easy for you to say! You aren't the one who's got a gun at your head."  
  
Heero's eyes flickered to the direction of 'Erry's' voice, then back to 'Thalia.'  
  
"Come out where I can see you," he ordered.  
  
"I'd rather not."  
  
"I'll shoot the girl."  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"Erry!" Thalia squawked.  
  
"It won't do any good, you're immort- "  
  
"Erry - " she said, warningly this time.  
  
"What? Our cover's already blown."  
  
"Hey! Why did you just stop me from explaining if our cover's blown?!"  
  
"Shut up," Heero said.  
  
"Hn. They probably won't beleive us anyway. And we would'nt be in this mess if ~you~ hadn't fallen in the window."  
  
"Look who's takling Mr. I'm-so-special-'cause-I've-got-wi- "  
  
"SHUT UP," Heero repeated.  
  
"Look, all we want is the bow and quiver. They're mine, and they're pretty dangerous to just leave lying around," 'Erry' said, sounding irritated.  
  
"You are not in the position to be making demands," Heero said and gestured with his gun. "Out in the hallway, both of you. Now."  
  
The girl rolled her eyes and sighed. She complied with some grumbling, of which Heero caught confusing bits involving someone called Aphrodite and a plague of whoopee cushions. Heero waited for the man to come out, but just as there was a hint of movement from behind the door, there was a rumbling. The ground was shaking, and the house groaned uneasily around them. The hall was filled with the smell of sulfer. Thalia was suddenly extrememly pale.  
  
"Eros! Is this what I think it is?" she shouted.  
  
"No, it ~can't~ be! Zeus told him not to come up in the human world anymore! Not since Persephone!"{2} came the reply. The shaking increased significantly. "Then again..."  
  
"Come on, we've got to go! If it ~is~ him, someone's got to protect the mortals!"  
  
Heero tried to keep his balance, but the violent shaking threw him to the ground . Thalia cried out as a great ~CRACK~ signaled the cave in of the floor.  
  
  
But before this...  
  
Quatre was surprised to see that the table had been cleared already. Having an idea who would've done this, he went into the kitchen. Sure enough, Trowa had his arms buried in soap suds as he washed the glasses and empty lemonade pitcher. Quatre smiled and came up to him unnoticed.  
  
"Thanks," he said simply. Trowa glanced at him and he smiled wider. The banged boy was cute when he was startled. Quatre doubted anyone else could really tell on Trowa's expressionless face, but with all the studying the blonde did of him, he could. Trowa blinked at him, the tiniest hint of warmth in his eyes.  
  
"I wanted to help."  
  
"Well, now it's my turn to help. I'll dry," Quatre said, taking out a dish towel.   
  
They worked in companionable silence and had just finished when Wufei came into the kitchen. A limp form in black swim trunks was in the Chinese boy's arms. Quatre frowned worriedly and walked over quickly, followed by Trowa.  
  
"Wufei, what happened?" Quatre asked.  
  
"I don't know," Wufei replied snappishly. "One second he was fine, the next he was out cold."  
  
Quatre examined him closely. He was obviously trying to look like his normal uncaring self, but there was worry in his ebony eyes. Quatre frowned in sympathy.  
  
"Hmm. Well, maybe we should put him in his room and call Sally Po to come and look at him-"  
  
He was cut off as the ground began to shake.  
  
"What the hell?" Wufei yelled, dodging pots and pans that were falling from their hooks on the wall. "Quatre, I didn't know your place was near a fault line!"  
  
"It's not!" Quatre shouted back. "We've got to get out of here!"  
  
Wufei needed no urging and ran back down the hall to the patio. Trowa and Quatre followed closely as the house began to shudder under the stress. They were almost to the door when the roof caved in. Quatre turned to see Trowa fall under a pile of debris.  
  
"TROWA!" he cried, and rushed back. He tore widly into the heap, not feeling the cuts he was getting from broken glass and twisted metal, intent on finding the banged boy. He finally unearthed an unconscious Heavyarms pilot, heaved him up, and staggered out of the door as more of the house collapsed. He didn't stop running until he made it to the far side of the pool, where Wufei was was kneeling beside Duo. Wufei shook his shoulders, trying to wake him up even though it was a useless gesture. Quatre placed Trowa down carefully.  
  
The ground cracked, a wide chasm forming between them and the house. The pool split and the gallons of water gushed noisily into the slash in the earth as sulfuric gases rushed just as noisily out of it. Quatre gasped for breath and Wufei began coughing earnestly. Then a voice like the baying of a pack of hounds rose from the pit.  
  
"AH, MY DEAR SHINIGAMI! YOU HAVE FINALLY COME TO JOIN ME!"   
  
  
  
Heero didn't know exactly how it happened, but somehow or another he was being born away from a collapsing house on the back of an angel. {3} White wings pumped on either side of him, and he clung to the bare muscular shoulders as he looked down at the grounds. A gaping jagged crevice had formed between the mansion and the pool. The winged being known as 'Erry' flew directly above it through the vent of noxious gases. Heero coughed but looked down through watering eyes into the abyss. He saw what appeared to be a river of glowing green - stuff, which swirled unpleasantly, making him nauseous.  
  
"AH, MY DEAR SHINIGAMI! YOU HAVE FINALLY COME TO JOIN ME!"  
  
"Hurry Eros! He's coming up!" screamed the girl, who was being carried in the angel's arms.  
  
"I'm trying!"   
  
He landed in front of the other four pilots, unfurling his wings to their full extent. He turn his head back to Heero.  
  
"You should stand back," he shouted as Wing's pilot dropped down. "Let us take care of this."  
  
Heero just nodded silently, feeling extraodinarily out of his depth. He stepped back a few paces, pulling his tank top over his nose and mouth to filter the air. Quatre stood and staggered over to Eros and Thalia.  
  
"What's going on?" he demanded of them, choking from the fumes.  
  
"It's - " began Thalia, but was cut off by a sudden flare of green fire.   
  
A tall swarthy man stood at the edge of the cavernous maw into the Underworld, wrapped in a black cape that seemed to be more a shadow than cloth. He smiled eerily at them. The man snapped his fingers, and the three conscious pilots all froze. Eros and Thalia glared at him.  
  
"This is quite a pleasure," Hades said, his voice no longer magnified but still holding a wild frightening undertone. "I knew at least one other God was here, but I hardly expected a muse as well."  
  
"We weren't expecting you, though," Thalia replied easily. "I'll give you one thing, you sure know how to make an entrance."  
  
"Cut the pleasantries. What are you doing here? You know Zeus's command," Eros said coldly.  
  
"Ah, but this has special circumstances, my dear grand-nephew. You see, I am merely collecting that which is mine," Hades said smoothly.  
  
"Just like you did with Persephone?"  
  
Hades laughed, a sound as bleak as the winter wind howling through a forest.  
  
"No. This time Zeus and Demeter can do nothing. Shinigami is my grandson," the God of the Underworld. {4}  
  
If the gundam pilots had been able to react, this declaration might've seemed more dramatic. As it was, Heero's eyes widened, Quatre's already-wide-eyes became the size of dinnerplates, and Wufei throat strained to curse. Thalia merely snapped her fingers... or tried to anyway.  
  
"Of course! I ~knew~ there was something different about him when I chose him for this!" she exclaimed.   
  
"My dear, how very perceptive of you," Hades said. "And while I'm quite enjoying our little chat, I really must take what I came for and get going."  
  
The god snapped his fingers. Duo's body stood, but his head lolled to one side, making it quite clear that he was still unconscious. His legs moved in a jerky parody of walking, making his way to the god. When he was close enough, Hades wrapped the braided teen in that strange shadow that was his cloak. With a last eerie howl of laughter, he snapped his fingers and disappeared. But instead of a mere flare of flames, there was an explosion followed by a wave of green light that threw everyone back twenty yards. Even the Olympians were knocked unconsious, and the ground began shaking again as the rift began to close.  
  
  
  
  
  
{1}- ::shudders:: Sorry! I ~know~ Heero wouldn't think like this even if he was on crack. Put it down to the power of Erry's Arrows of Luuuv.  
  
{2}- Insert the legend of Persephone here. One thing I made up. In my fanfic here, Zeus has apparantly forbidden Hades to come to earth again. That does not happen in the actual myth.  
  
{3}- Well, that's what Eros looks like! And Heero's a soldier, how would he know about the obscure references to ancient Greek mythology?  
  
{4}- Ooooh, the plot thickens! Can we say 'soap opera'?  
  
  
Duo: Hey! What about me an' Wu-chan over here? I though for sure that this fic was headed for a Wufei-uke lemon scene what with the sunburn lotion and all...  
  
Wufei: WHAT??? INJUSTICE!!!  
  
Duo: ::big kawaii grin:: Awwwww, you're so ~cute~ when you're angry. ::nudges Wufei with an elbow:: You know you like it.  
  
Wufei ::furious blushing:: I don't know what you're talking about, Maxwell!!  
  
Duo ::big kawaii leer:: Suuuure you don't, Fei-babe.  
  
O_o ... Ah well, this fic is going on for another couple parts, it looks like. ::ignores groans from G-boys, muses, and readers:: ::points at nasty cliff-hanger ending:: I hate cliff-hangers. Now look what I've gone and done! And I ~do~ plan on explaining everything. Just let me get around to it... In the meantime REEEEEVIIIEEEWWW!!!! DAMMIT!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!   
  
Thalia ::rolls eyes:: Eros, you know the drill.  
  
Eros ::nods, then nocks a heart-tipped arrow and aims bow at readers:: Review please, or I'll make you get an obsession for the nearest spandex-wearing terrorist who wants to kill you. 


	5. Chapter Four: You Call THAT a Plot?

Author's Note: it's me again! This is a good part, but it's a bit longer and less humorous. But just wait till you see what happens to Wufei at the end! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Thalia: Oh just shut up and get on with the fic!  
  
Eros: And it better be good after that stupid cliff-hanger ending in the last chapter!  
  
Oh all right, all right! On with the fic then! Hn! Can't even luagh psychotically in my own fic without stupid muses getting in the way -  
  
Eros and Thalia: SHUT UP ALREADY!!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own G-boys, and I won't ever no matter how many chibis of them I collect. ::sigh:: Shounen ai, ~VERY~ original interpretation of Greek mythology and it's assorted characters, Switching of POV, general weirdness, more OOC. Don't flame me. I mean it! Squiggly lines ~ ~ are for emphasis.  
  
  
  
Back on a cloud somewhere...  
  
Aphodite glared into her pool at the scene of destruction. Eros, Thalia, and the motley troupe of humans all unconscious, the Gates of Hades open, a living mortal trapped in the realm of the dead... She sighed. If only someone had realized Duo Maxwell's true nature beforehand, the whole thing could've been prevented. If only Eros hadn't left his bow and quiver unattended... Well, anyway, it couldn't be undone and now ~she~ was going to have to deal with it herself.  
  
"Dammit!" she cursed, throwing her strawberry margaurita down. "There goes my day off!"  
  
  
  
Duo woke in on a bed in a spacious room. Sunlight poured in through the open bay doors at one end while the white curtains billowed in a soft warm breeze. He sighed and rolled over in the soft white linen sheets. White drapes over the bed drifted lazily in and out of his vision, and he curled up around the warm body next to him. Wait a minute... who was that? He looked up. Wufei laid next to him, black hair unbound and flowing around his head like a puddle of shadow. As if aware of being scrutinized, the Chinese boy opened ebony eyes.  
  
"Good morning, koi," he said, bending his neck to plant a kiss on Duo's nose. Duo shivered, a blush washing over him. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Yeah," he responded dreamily. He felt bronze arms tighten around him and Wufei brought him in for another kiss, this time on the mouth. Duo began to think he would melt. He had thought his infatuation with the raven-haired pilot was one-sided, but appearantly he'd been mistaken. When they broke apart for air, Wufei giggled. Duo frowned. Since when did Wufei giggle?  
  
"Well, I hope you're good and rested because I don't plan on letting you sleep for a while yet," the boy of his dreams purred playfully into his ear, followed by another giggle. Duo realized that Wufei was grinning. Very widely, in fact. It was... frightening. Wufei never smiled more than a smirk. And suddenly Duo realized he'd never seen in this room in Quatre's mansion. And Wufei never giggled.  
  
"You're not Wufei," he declared loudly. The Wufei-not froze completely, as did the billowing curtains. "This isn't real."  
  
The vision faded, being blown away by a strong strange wind like dunes of sand. Duo was left standing in a cold black place. The sky was dark as pitch and the wind whistled in his ears. Silver sands slipped around him and a mirthless chuckled sounded behind him. He whirled. A tall man with a saturnine look to him stood not three meters away, clothed in what appeared to be shadow.   
  
"You're wiser than they give you credit for," he said. "So much for distracting you."  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Duo demanded.  
  
"I? I am Hades, God of the Underworld. You, my dear, are Duo Maxwell, self-proclaimed God of Death. It's good to finally meet you. Thanatos has told me so much about you."  
  
"Thanatos?"  
  
"My son. Your father. The God of Death."  
  
  
  
Back at the Winner residence...  
  
Wufei was floating in a pink heaven. Ahh, so soothing, so healing, so... Pink? Huh? He opened his eyes. A beautiful woman in a very impractical pink satin and lace outfit was standing in the center of a ring of collapsed figures, pink fog flowing from her finger tips. He would've been shocked, but after remembering the events that had brought this about, he really couldn't feel much of anything but anger.   
  
How ~DARE~ that - that ~god~ just waltz in here and take Duo?! ~HIS~ Duo! He hadn't exactly ~told~ Duo that he was his, but that had very little to do with it. And then the way he'd destroyed Quatre's house and nearly killed Trowa with his little appearing act, and the blatant use of power to take Duo away. It was dishonorable! And weak!  
  
"Ahem! Mortal!" the woman in pink interrupted his mental ranting. He turn a gaze filled with rage on her. She didn't appear to notice. "Wake up the other mortals, we've got a job to do."  
  
"Onna, don't tell me what to do! I've got to save Duo from this injustice!" Wufei growled back, standing. He began to walk toward the chasm, which had only closed about halfway for some reason. Then a shock went through him, leaving him laying on the ground in a sizzling heap, seeing pink spots in front of his eyes. He had a nasty suspicion his hair was sticking out like an electrified afro, and set about smoothing it back into its ponytail.  
  
"The faster you get your friends awake the sooner you can go. I don't like leaving all these loose ends around," she said, crossing to his side and heaving him to his feet with inhuman strength. She brushed off his now-slightly-charred blue tanktop and white pants, giving him a swat on the behind to get him moving. {1}  
  
Seeing that antagonizing this onna would be - unwise - he began to try to rouse his fellow pilots. Heero woke easily, coughing out pink mist. Trowa, like Wufei, had woken up on is own and was awakening Quatre. They gather together in a close knot as the winged bishounen and violet-haired girl were zapped into singed wakefulness by twin bolts of pink lightning.  
  
"What the bloody freakin' ~Tartarus~!" demanded the girl, leaping to her feet. Then she saw the pink-clad woman. "Oh, it's you. Well, we need all the help we can get, I suppose..."  
  
"Mom? You saw... ?" the young man said, standing with more dignity.   
  
"Yes. I hope you realize how stupid it was to leave you bow lying around. This may never have happened otherwise," she said, giving him a glare that might've been enough to rival Heero's. "And I've given you two your powers back. We might need them."  
  
"Er- What's Eros's bow have to do with this?" Quatre asked. "And may I ask who you are?"  
  
"Dear boy, I am Aphrodite, Goddess of Love an Beauty. And Eros's bow had everything to do with it," the woman declared as though it was obvious.  
  
"But... how?" Quatre managed not to squeak.  
  
Aphrodite gave him a look. Eros put a restraining hand on her shoulder. Thalia sighed and stepped foward. Wufei fixed her with a stern gaze and waited for her to begin. She took a deep breath.  
  
"All right, let's see if I can explain it in your terms. It's like this. The psychic consciousness of the Gods is like this big old pond. When a God or Goddess uses the things made by or for the Gods, there are ripples in the pond that we all feel. The more energy the god or Goddess has in them, the larger the ripple. Mortals have considerably less energy, and so cannot under normal circumstances use such things."  
  
"But today Duo used the bow..." Wufei said,   
  
"That's it. We, being mostly powerless, didn't notice the ripples. They couldn't have been terribly large, because Duo is mostly mortal, but it was enough to alert Hades of his presence. It probably drained him considerably, even so," she explained with a grimace. Wufei nodded. That certainly explained Duo' unconsciousness. Thalia turned to the other woman. "How come ~you~ didn't notice, O Almighty Aphrodite?"   
  
The Goddess of Love had the decency to blush prettily. She mumbled something.  
  
"What's that? I didn't hear," Thalia said, holding a hand to her ear exaggeratedly.  
  
"I ~said~ 'I was dying my hair!' Do I need to spell it out for you?" exclaimed Aphrodite irately.  
  
"Well it might help - "  
  
"What were you two doing here in the first place?" Wufei interrupted impatiently.  
  
"You said you were on a mission. And then later that you 'chose' Duo for something," Heero reminded them. This time Eros, Thalia, and, much the the other's surprise, Quatre were the ones turning red.  
  
"Er - this is all ~Aphrodite's~ fault, you realize," Thalia said. "~We~ were merely innocent pawns. ~She's~ the one who wanted entertainment."  
  
"Yeah, and if it weren't for ~Thalia~ messing up right away, Quatre wouldn't be involved," Eros explained.   
  
"I didn't even really ~do~ anything, either..." the Arabian said guiltily.  
  
Wufei, Heero, and the silent Trowa merely looked on impassively, waiting for an answer.   
  
"...We were suppposed to hook up Wufei with Duo," Eros finally mumbled.   
  
Wufei hadn't thought he could be shocked anymore that day, but then he hadn't thought his romantic life would be a mission for deities that hadn't been worshipped for over two thousand years. Then he felt even more anger.   
  
"So you're saying that everything I've ever felt for Duo is all ~fake~?" he snarled, in his fury forgetting to be secretive about his passion for Duo. This was such injustice that he'd see it righted even if it meant exposing his emotions. "It was all just for the sake of divine ~amusement?~"  
  
Eros and Thalia looked taken aback. Quatre grinned suddenly.  
  
"Wufei, they hadn't even gotten so far as to see you in person before Aphrodite took their powers away and they had to hide. No one influenced how you felt about Duo in the least," he said.  
  
"..." Wufei responded, at a loss for words. His righteous anger drained away slightly, and he felt a traitorous blush creeping across his face. Thalia gave a short giggle. He refused to acknowledge both, and quickly found his tongue. "Well then, what do we do about getting Duo back? What does Hades plan on doing with him?"  
  
  
  
The shadow-covered man came closer, and Duo found himself backing up. He stopped as soon as he realized he was doing it and glared defiantly into eyes that had no iris or white, just black holes.   
  
"I have been forced to stay in my realm for thousands of years because of decree Zeus made after I spirited away my bride. Your grandmother, Persephone, gave me twin sons, Thanatos and Hypnos. {2} While I was imprisoned here they took care of things above. But your father went against my commands to remain objective. He fell in love with a human woman and spared her life long enough for her to bear the child he'd gotten her with.  
  
"Zeus forbade Thanatos to take you to Olympus and raise you as a God. He cast you down to earth in a different time to keep you from ever guessing your heritage. But now things have changed. The reason you were kept from me was that you are a link to the world of the living. You have the power to bridge the Underworld and the Living World. That is why I brought you here, my grandson. You will help me regain entrance to the mortal world," Hades finished his monolouge with a hungry smile.  
  
"So basically you're saying I'm a demigod, the son of Death, and the key to a deity's plan for escaping a divine prison?" Duo asked skeptically.  
  
"Well, if you have to put it that way, yes," Hades managed not to sound sulky. "Will you help me?"  
  
"Why should I? You've kidnapped me, even if you ~are~ my grandfather. And what are you planning on doing if you gain access to Earth?" Duo fixed those abyssmal eyes with a glare.  
  
"Nothing that concerns ~you~, should you accept my offer. You'd lose your mortality and become a God in the process of bridging the two worlds. You see, Shinigami - what? That ~is~ what you call yourself," Hades remarked, noting Duo's surprised expression.  
  
"Yes, but how did you - "  
  
"I have kept tabs on you since I heard of your birth from Thanatos. But as I was saying, once the two worlds are bridged, I can - talk - with my ~dear~ brother, Zeus," Hades said bitterly. "We have much catching up to do."  
  
Something in his tone and expression - it may have been the mad gleam in his eyes and manic smile - made Duo realize that the last thing Hades wanted to do with Zeus was have a nice little chat. He resisted a shudder. If the gods fought on Earth, there'd be more damage done than by any war humans could create. He tried to tell himself that this was probably all some sort of hallucination - ancient Greek gods duking it out on Earth because ~he~ was the key to Hades's escape from the Underworld? Come on! - but he knew it was all true. He felt it in his heart, his bones, his soul. Shinigami had always been there, waiting in the background, helping him survive, even when he was paying lipservice to the Catholic church. He'd know he wasn't exactly average, but he'd put it down to the fact that he hadn't had an average life. Finding out he was a demi-god didn't surprise him.  
  
"Well, I'm not going to do it. I'm sure Zeus has a good reason for keeping you and the Underworld down here, and you haven't really done much to make me think otherwise," Duo said with a wide, dangerous grin, unknowingly echoing Hades's. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Now, why don't you just put me back where I belong?"  
  
A brief flash of rage contorted the King of the Underworld's face, but it was gone incredibly quickly. The calm, smug look that replaced it seemed to confirm Duo's diagnosis of dementia.  
  
"But Shinigami, don't you want to meet your mother?" Hades asked, snapping his fingers. The cold silver sands swirled, forming a pool of faintly sparkling light. Duo couldn't resist peering inside. He gasped.   
  
A willowy woman with shoulder-length chestnut hair sat in a field of flowers. She smiled sunnily as children played around her. She resembled him quite a bit, but her eyes were sapphire blue instead of flashing violet. She was braiding a garland of flowers, looking so ~happy~ as she did so...  
  
"Wait a minute! You said she died after giving birth to me!" Duo shouted, tearing his eyes from the woman. "How can that be her?"  
  
"My dear boy, Hades in not only Tartarus, but the Elysian Fields as well. Her spirit resides there, with the the souls of the innocents and others like her. Would you like to meet her?" Hades asked, with a dark unnerving chuckle.  
  
"..."  
  
  
When the ground began to shake again, the gods snapped their fingers. Wufei was about to yell at them for wasting time with meaningless gestures when suddenly he was floating above the ground on a cloud of purple and white mist that was somehow solid. It rose quickly, filling him with vertigo. He crouched down to better keep his balance as the puff of cloud soared upward over the pit that Hades had taken Duo into. There the others were assembling as well.  
  
"What's going on?" Quatre shouted at Aphrodite.  
  
"The Gate to the Underworld isn't closing. It's opening. This is very bad," she added unnecessarily.   
  
"Why is it opening?" Trowa asked.   
  
No one had an answer right away. Then Thalia smacked her forehead.  
  
"Oh my Zeus! I should've realized it sooner!" she exclaimed.  
  
"What?" Heero yelled, kneeling cautiously at the edge of his cloud and staring into the gap.  
  
"The Gates of the Underworld can't close as long as there is a mortal in Hades! And Duo is mostly mortal!" she responded.  
  
"But why are they opening wider?" Wufei repeated Trowa's question, following Heero's example. The bottom of the chasm was impossibly far below, and brilliant poisonous green snakes of vapor or liquid or maybe just plain energy writhed down there. It was a sickening sight that brought to mind maggots and parasites. Wufei looked away before he could disgrace himself by losing his lunch.  
  
"Well, Duo is also partially God! The duality of his nature is somehow forcing the Underworld up into this plane of existance! Look!" the muse pointed down. Wufei steeled his stomach and followed her gesture. He was startled to see dunes of silver sand covering the ground on either side of the split earth. The remains of Quatre's estate were no where to be seen, and the stretch of sand was speading even as he watched. Green lights flickered up and flew out across the silver desert that hadn't been there moments before.  
  
"We've got to stop it from spreading!" Quatre cried, eyes wide.  
  
"We have to get Duo out of the Underworld," Heero told the Gods.  
  
"We can't. We Gods can sense each other; Hades would know the second we entered his domain and he'd hide Duo. We'd never be able to find him before the whole Underworld has merged with yours," Eros replied in dismay. "By then it'd be too late."  
  
"I'll go!" Wufei declared. "I'm no god, Hades won't suspect me!"  
  
"You can't go down there," Aphrodite said with a frown. "You're mortal! You'd never make it past Cerberus."  
  
"Well have ~you~ got a ~better~ plan, onna?"   
  
Aphrodite merely gave an unladylike snort in responce. Eros flew over to Wufei, wings spread wide. He came almost nose to nose with the Chinese boy, staring deeply into onyx eyes.  
  
"Find your justice," he commanded in a low voice.  
  
"What?" Wufei asked. Whatever he had expected the God of Love to say, that wasn't it.  
  
"Connect with your justice, let it fill you, become one with it. It's your only hope of saving Duo. What are you waiting for?"  
  
Casting a befuddled glance at Eros, Wufei did as he was instructed. He slipped into a semi-meditative frame of mind, letting the bittersweet justice fill him as it did when he piloted Nataku. He let it flow through him, around him, in him, until he was sure of himself and of his sense of integrity. He felt something be pressed into his hands and he snapped his eyes open. It was Eros's bow and a quiver of black arrows.  
  
"These will aid you. The arrows are laced with hemlock, so don't touch the tips. They should work on the creatures of the Underworld," Eros instructed.   
  
"But - but you said only Gods could weild things made for the Gods," Wufei said, hesitant to take the weapons. Eros left them in his hands with an enigmatic smile. Surprised, all Wufei could do was clutch them as Eros flew away. "Hey! Wait a second! What are you - aaah!"  
  
A sudden flare of pain rippled through him. He felt the muscles in his back spasm, and he fell to his hands and knees, fingers tearing into the solid fog. He heard noises like popping bones and groaning sinews as he bit back a yelp of pain. Something was straining against the back of his tanktop, which ripped. He gave a relieved sigh as the pain receded. He got to his feet, stretching the kinks out of his muscles. He heard everyone around him gasp.  
  
"What? What is - " he began confusedly, but saw something out of the corner of his eye. He spun to get a good look at it, but it always was just out of sight. He tried to whirl faster, but still it eluded him. Laughter from the three Olympians and Quatre made him stop long enough to glare at them. "What's so funny?"  
  
"Wu- Wufei, you - " Quatre gasped out, but he was soon overcome by very hysterical giggles. Wufei snorted and turned to Heero, whom he knew wouldn't be laughing.  
  
"You've got wings," the Japanese pilot said flatly, pointing. Wufei blinked in surprise. He turned his neck and saw long, half-extended green wings behind him. Wings like leather, like bat wings. He flexed his shoulder muscles, feeling a wave of satisfaction when the wings extended fully.  
  
"~Now~," he said, slinging the bow and quiver around his shoulders but under his new wings. He leaped from the cloud, soaring down into the Gate of the Underworld. "Duo, I'm coming. Not even the Gods can escape justice!"  
  
  
  
  
  
{1}- Wufei: ONNA!!! ::rubbing his behind::  
  
Tee-hee! Wufei got goosed!   
  
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!! I'll get you for this, onna!!  
  
Quiet, sweetcheeks!  
  
{2}- Okay, blantantly twisting Greek myth here. Thanatos and Hypnos were brothers, but they were not Hades's sons. Hades was not ordered by Zeus to stay in the Underworld. But my mind works in twisted ways, so I tweaked the myths a bit so it'd fit the fic.   
  
Well, I think that as long as you don't use my fic to study for any mythology tests, you'll be all right. Anywho, I think there'll only be one more part, unless I decide to have a nice happy little epilouge. Depends on how ambitious Thalia and Eros are. Hey guys, how ambitious are you?  
  
Thalia and Eros: ZZZZZZZZZZ....  
  
Hn. Well, looks like I'm on my own. ::ignores groans from G-boys and readers:: Anywho, review or Wufei'll come and kick your ass. Right 'Fei?  
  
Wufei: I SHALL DECIDE JUSTICE! BWAHAHAHAHAAA!!!  
  
Duo: Ah, Wu-babe? I think you're still channeling your justice... you're not supposed to do that outside the fic... er... heh heh 


	6. Chapter Five: Down the Rabbit Hole

Author's Note: Thalia :: carrying bound and gagged authoress :: Hello all! We're sick of waiting ten minutes for our authoress to get to the fic, and so have taken precautions to avoid her rambling in an extended Author's Note. So without further ado, we give you this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: Eros: I'll be handling the disclaimer. Our authoress doesn't own Gundam Wing. The Greek myths and deities have been twisted into a nearly-unrecognizable mess. Shounen ai, switching of POV, general weirdness, and most likely OOC. These ~ ~ are for emphasis.  
  
  
  
The fields were warm and sunny, a summer breeze blowing across them. Duo was faintly puzzled by the sunlight, for the sky was as pitch black as it had been before. The sounds of laughter and happiness filled the air along with the scent of wildflowers. He crept along quietly, not wanting to disturb the residents. He approached the woman shown to him by Hades cautiously almost afraid of what her reaction to him would be. She didn't notice him, busily plaiting a garland of wild flowers for a pretty little girl. The blonde child looked up and saw Duo. She smiled cheerily at him.  
  
"Hullo!" the girl greeted him. Duo's mother glanced up from her work with a smile, which swiftly turned to surprise and confusion. She handed the garland to the girl.  
  
"Moira, why don't go play with Sally and Jane?{1} I bet they'll want to see your pretty necklace," the woman said. The child nodded and skipped away. Standing, the woman took in every aspect of Duo, who longed for his normal clothes and not the swim trunks in which he was still clad. They stood stock still, staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then with a rapidity that startled the boy, she crossed the space between them and enfolded him in a hug.  
  
"So you're mine. I've been worried about you," she said in a teary voice. "You have his eyes, you know. Sure they're a bit more human, but they're just as purple. Have you met your father yet?"  
  
"N-no," Duo said, voice strangely hoarse. Funny. Half his life he'd wanted to find his parents and talk to them, ask them questions, ~know~ them, and now that he was here, he couldn't think of a single thing to say. His mother released him, backing up a step.  
  
"Do you know my name?" she asked, barely pausing to hear his amnswer. "I died before I could even name you, and your father was always busy working I suppose... He told me what Zeus did. What's your name? You're not dead, are you?"  
  
"I'm Duo Maxwell, and I'm not dead," he told her, a bit in shock. Was that how he sounded when he was babbling? Well, at least now he knew that it wasn't his fault, it was in his genes. "What's your name?"  
  
"I'm Kayla Sunn. But... will you call me... Mom?" she asked tentatively. She looked at him with eyes sparkling with tears. Duo couldn't help but to smile. A bubble of happiness was welling up in him. He'd finally found his mother. Granted, she was already dead, but still, you can't choose your parents.  
  
"Okay, Mom," he said, feeling his eyes sting. {2}  
  
  
  
Wufei plummeted downward between the snaking, twisting mass of green energy, dodging the bolts of jagged lightning that came his way. He smirked and banked, avoiding another writhing feeler. He kept diving, feeling his eyes water from the wind that whipped at his eyes. He had to get to Duo, had to find the boy before the Underworld was completely superimposed on Earth. He didn't quite understand all the implications of that, but he knew that it was not a good thing. Plus he didn't know what horrors were being inflicted on ~his~ Duo by that monster of a god.  
  
Finally, Wufei reached the bottom of the chasm. He was so far down that he could no longer see the opening above him. Silver sand slipped around his feet and he jogged to keep from sinking in it. Ahead of him was a great gold and sivler gate encrusted with jewels and gems, the doors flung wide open. He saw no sign of this 'Cerberus' creature, but he wouldn't have been a gundam pilot if he hadn't been trained to be wary of everything. He took the bow off his shoulder and drew an arrow from the quiver, nocking it carefully as he came up to the gate.  
  
A sudden baying froze him in place. His heart skipped a beat. The howl was in terrible harmony, the sound of pure fear. As the undulating cry went on, a hulking shape emerged from the shadow behind the gate. The dog was the size of a grizzly bear, with three massive heads all screwed into masks of hate as they switched from howling to a menacing growl that Wufei could feel in his bones. Wufei aimed the bow, swallowing hard as he approached.  
  
Cerberus lunged with a fierce. Wufei just barely managed to leap to one side, firing the arrow. It sank deep into the beast's side, causing a cry of fury. It spun with more agility than anything that size should have had, and one of the heads nearly bit Wufei's leg. Only a reflex tensing of his shoulder muscles saved him from becoming a chew toy. How weak was he, to forget he had wings? He flew gracefully into the air, nocking another arrow. Cerberus leapt to catch him, but missed by a few inches. Wufei hovered just out of reach, took aim, and loosed the arrow. Again, it struck it's target, but had about as much effect.  
  
Fury lent strength to the creature, and before Wufei had even finished drawing his hand from the quiver, he found himself being crushed beneath enormous paws. Cruel claws dug into his chest, and he struggled to free even one arm. Three grotesque faces snarled at him, rank breath making it hard for him to concentrate, drool dribbling onto him. They all began to howl triumphantly when they suddenly stopped and ran off to one side.  
  
It took a second to register that he was free. It finally clicked when a hand appeared in front of him, offering help. Too stunned to really do anything else, he took it. He was heaved to his feet, and found himself staring into glowing violet eyes. The heart-shaped face and lithe figure were incredibly familiar, but the short cloud of dead white hair all but cancelled out any resemblance. The new appearance smiled slighty at the hellhound, which was now chomping noisily on somthing that looked suspiciously like a tripple-decker chocolate cake. {3}  
  
"Who are you?" Wufei demanded, unnerved but the strange eyes.  
  
"I am Thanatos, Shinigami's father. I have temporarily incapacitated Cerberus," his savior said calmly. "The Avatar of Justice, are you? I assume you are here to retrieve my son."  
  
"Yes. Don't try to stop me," the young man said. A peaceful chuckle was his responce.  
  
"I wouldn't dream of it. We were meant to be guardians of this place, to keep the dead and the living seperate. What my father is doing is madness, and I will do all in my power to stop him. I cannot rescue Shinigami myself, Hades would know immediately. Not even I can overpower or outwit him on his own ground. But I do know where my son is."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"He is in the Elysian Fields. Fly straight foward from the inside of the gate, and don't turn around or stop for anything until you reach him. When you do find him, keep flying straight forward. You will find your way back here. Hurry, you don't have much time. The Underworld is leaking out too quickly." Thanatos urged him through the gate. "Good luck. I shall try to distract Hades with my presence. He shouldn't be able to sense you, you yourself are mortal. The Spirit of Justice is simply working through you."  
  
"I understand. Thank you," Wufei said, and took off.  
  
  
  
Trowa watched in amazement and not a little fear as the silver sand quickly spread across the area around Quatre's home. It had been rolling hills and trees, but now as far as he could see there were only dunes of sparkling silicon. He turned his eyes to Quatre to see how he was taking it. Quatre's aquamarine eyes were deeply troubled, and he paced around on his cloud. Trowa guided his own misty support to a level with Quatre's. He stepped onto the other boy's and stood beside him unnoticed, as Quatre had his back to him. The European boy had an urge to put an arm around the blonde's shoulder, but restrained himself.  
  
"How are you holding up?" he asked quietly. Quatre jumped slightly and turned to face him. Then he smiled, but it looked forced.   
  
"I'm okay, I guess," the Arabian reassured him.  
  
"You're worried about Duo and Wufei."  
  
Quatre gave a mirthless laugh. "Am I that transparent?"  
  
"You shouldn't be worried. Duo and Wufei can each take care of themselves. And now that they've both turned out to be... whatever it is they are, they should only be more capable of doing so," Trowa said, then fell silent.  
  
"But look what they're up against. Gods? Whatever lurks down ~there~?" Quatre gestured to the ever-widening chasm, losing his pretense of a smile. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "There's so much at stake, and it's ~my~ fault. I made Eros and Thalia become solid. The bow wouldn't have been a problem if they'd stayed in their own plane of existance."  
  
Trowa startled himself by putting a hand on the shorter boy's cheek. He frowned slightly at his inablility to control the impulse, but he just ~had~ to comfort his... friend. He gritted his teeth as he recalled that ~that~ was all they were. There was no way Quatre would feel any other way for ~him~. Then he realized that he was just standing there stupidly staring at Quatre without saying anything, and that Quatre was looking back with something indecipherable in his beautiful eyes.  
  
"Don't blame yourself, little one. You are human, you make mistakes. These gods should have been the ones to take care of their possessions, not you," he said even more softly than normal.  
  
"But Trowa... what if they don't come back?" Quatre asked, guilt and worry in his tone.  
  
"...." Trowa groped for words to reassure. Quatre suddenly wrapped him into a warm hug. He was stunned, and before he could get over it enough to return the embrace Quatre had pulled away, but a small smile curved his lips.  
  
"You always know exactly what to say."  
  
Trowa returned the smile with a faint one of his own.  
  
  
  
Wufei had been flying for what seemed like an eternity over the endless silver dunes, and he was growing desperate. He had the strongest feeling that he was being followed, but he heeded Thanatos's advice not to turn around for anything. He had to find Duo, and he didn't know how much time he had left before it was too late. To make matters worse, the wounds he'd received from Cerberus were painfully making themselves known with every movement of his wings or torso. He grimly refused to let himself slow down to ease the pain; he had a mission to complete.  
  
He was going so fast he almost missed it, a flash of green suddenly shimmered into existance below him. He dived sharply, straining the deep gashes on his chest and belly. He passed through a barrier of whipping wind and stinging sand and found himself over a breath-takingly beautiful field and forest. He saw the souls of the innocent and pure, and looked among them for the familiar braid and manic grin.  
  
Then he saw something that shocked him out of the sky, landing awkwardly at the feet of a pretty thirteen-year-old girl. She blinked at him in equal shock.  
  
"Wu- Wufei?" Meiran asked. {4}  
  
  
  
Hades stood in the exact center of the Underworld, a shadow that blended almost perfectly with the shadow of the dune beside him. He watched as the pitch sky began to sparkle with stars, and grinned maniacally. The merging of worlds was nearly complete. Soon he'd be beating Zeus at his own game, locking him forever in impotence on Mount Olympus. Then Earth would be ~his~ and his alone, as it should have been from the beginning. He would have laughed if he had not become aware of another's presence behind him.   
  
"Ah, Thanatos. Come to bask in my soon-to-be glory?"  
  
"No, Father. I'm here to talk some sense into you, before it's too late."  
  
"It's already too late, my son. Look around! Nothing can stop it now. Shinigami won't be able to get free without help, and none of the grand idiots of love and comedy have attempted a rescue. Those so-called Gods on Mount Olympus haven't even caught on yet, so distant have they become from humanity. They abandoned the mortals long ago, why should they even care?"  
  
"They are not so aloof as you think. Why else would Eros and Thalia have been with the mortals in the first place, if the Gods have turned their back on mankind?" Thanatos pointed out in his waif of a voice.  
  
"Hn," Hades snorted, with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Then they have become worse than aloof. They use the mortals for mere amusement, as toys."  
  
"Is that not what you are doing?"  
  
"No. Shinigami is not a toy. He is a tool. There is an important difference. And he will be rewarded amply for his services," the King of the Underworld said with another smile. Thanatos fixed him with an uniterpretable expression.  
  
"Do you think it is a reward to push an adolescent into an eternity of killing?"  
  
Hades looked puzzled for only a moment.  
  
"He is a God. It was his destiny from the moment he was conceived."  
  
"Shinigami may be a God, but Duo is mortal. He has killed enough for any human lifetime, and I do not wish to see him suffer because of what you call his destiny. Have you yourself not become distant from humanity, to forget what pain is? To forget what your task as Guardian of the Dead is?" Thanatos demanded, violet eyes flashing.   
  
"I ~never~ forgot. ~I~ always was close to the mortals, closer than any other God on Olympus. Even after most of the mortals forgot about us, ~I~ still kept taking them in when they died. I will be there for the mortals, a tangible God right there on Earth."  
  
"How is inflicting living death on mortals going to prove that you care? The Elysian Fields will die and decay, Tartaraus will expand to cover the Earth. And you shall rule a graveyard more dismal than the Underworld could ever be, with the haunted husk of a mortal child forever chained to a scythe," Thanatos whispered.   
  
"You will destroy the world in attempt to gain vengence on your brother," the God of Death went on cruelly. "All I have to ask you is, does Mother know?" Hades winced visibly at that. "I'll take that as a no. Do you think that she will take the death of her living Earth well? She and Demeter will be quite upset by now."  
  
And as if by cue there were twin poofs of green smoke. On the sands of the Underworld stood two women, one matronly with rich dark brown hair and an earthy complexion, the other a young woman with sandy blonde hair and voluptuous curves. Both looked - for lack of a better expression - extremely PISSED OFF. The blonde stepped forward and stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at him.  
  
"Er - hello, dear," Hades greeted weakly.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
{1}- It's 2:34 AM and I'm on a crash from a sugar high. There is no brain power left to think of names. My apologies.  
  
{2}- It's just so touching... ::sniff::  
  
Thalia: Yeah, you can just see the sparkles. ::rolls eyes::  
  
{3}- Hey, I didn't even have to make this up! In Greek myths, Cerberus could easily be distracted if you gave him cake. Weird, huh?  
  
{4}- Whoa! Betcha didn't see ~that~ coming from a mile away! Total surprise, right? Riiiight.  
  
  
Continued in next part! They were originally one chapter, but I thought if was a bit too long, so I split it up. But that doesn't mean you can skimp on reviews! I need the feedback! My ego isn't big enough yet!  
  
G-boys and muses: ::cough::yeahright::cough::  
  
Hn. I work and I slave over this fic, and this is the thanks I get. Anywho, REVIEW! I'll give you pocky and/or cookies and/or naked G-boys dripping with hot fugde! ^_^  
  
G-boys: O_o WHAT!?!?  
  
I'm so evil. ^_~ BWAHAHAHAHA!!! 


	7. Chapter Six: The Fantabulous Escape!

Author's Note: Dammit! I didn't want to have this many chapters. This one and Chapter 5 were supposed to be the same one, but it was too long. Hn! ::pouts, then gets dirty looks from G-boys, muses, and readers:: But enough rambling... On with the fic!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boys, this version of the Greek Gods is really messed up, shounen ai, switching of POV, OOCness most likely, and general weirdness. Squiggly lines ~ ~ are for emphasis.   
  
  
  
"Meiran?" Wufei breathed in shock. It couldn't be... She was dead... He belated remembered that he was in the Land of the Dead. Oh, yeah... Still, she was Buddhis. What was she doing here?  
  
"Of course. What are ~you~ doing here? Are you dead? And why have you got wings on your back?" she demanded, brisk and borderline rude as ever.   
  
"~I'm~ here to rescue my - er - friend, and I'm far from being dead. I've been made the Avatar of Justice," he said with pardonable pride. Then he waited for the inevitable jibe about how unworthy he was for such a task. He was taken aback when Meiran chuckled.  
  
"Always knew you had it in you. Was wondering what it would take to get you to believe it, too," she said smugly, as if ~she~ had personally been responsible for this turn of events.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Really, Wufei, for a scholar you're being particularly dense. Do you honestly think I would waste my time on a ~male~ such as yourself if I hadn't thought you had potential?" she asked in exasperation. Wufei was about to retort when he paused to think whether he was being insulted or complemented. "Who's this - ahem - ~friend~ of yours?"  
  
"His name is Duo. He was kidnapped by Hades and Thanatos told me he'd be here," Wufei replied then grimaced. He'd disobeyed his orders, he'd stopped. Would he be able to Duo now? A gasp from Meiran distracted him. "What is it?"  
  
"You mean - Shinigami is a mortal? Dammit!" she cursed. "Injustice! I was wondering what was going wrong. The stars have been coming out. Well, I suppose I'll take you to him. The sooner you get him out of here, the better off we'll all be. Come on, Dragon."  
  
She began to walk through the trees. Wufei stared after her, then gave a snort of irritation. He'd almost forgotten what she was like. He hurried to follow, not wanting to get lost in the Underworld.  
  
"Onna, don't you dare get us lost!"  
  
  
"Don't 'dear' me, Hades!" Persephone said sternly, putting her hands on her hips. "Just what do you think you're doing? Killing all my beautiful flowers, ruining Mother's crops, driving Pan and the satyrs mad with all this death and other nonsense! I leave for one hundred years and ~look~ what happens! And what about Shinigami? What have you done to that poor boy to keep him here, hmmm? Given him a tour? Introduced him to Sysiphus and Tantalus? Have him trying to train Cerberus to roll over?"  
  
"Of course not, honey - " Hades began, but Demeter advanced on him, shaking a finger.   
  
"How ~dare~ you, young man? Trying to destroy all my hard work before those poor mortals can harvest. I ~knew~ you were a rotten egg to start with, I said so right from the beginning. My daughter could've had Apollo or Hermes, and I daresay she'd have been better off for it. Don't say I didn't warn you, Pesephone, I said he was no good, and if Zeus hadn't stepped in I'd've tanned your hide for even considering him," she ranted, glaring daggers at Hades.  
  
"Demeter, what a - pleasant - surprise," Hades said with a watery smile. Thanatos grinned. His father had never been a match for either woman, and now was practially cowering before the wrath of them both.  
  
"Don't you talk to me, little mister! I don't need any of your lippiness. Now, you just scoot and put my great-grandson back on Earth, get all your bloody stupid sand back down here, and close the Gates. Have you ~any~ idea of the worry you've caused? Poor Zeus is frantic trying to figure out how you got up there in the first place. This is just perfect, my daughter is in love with an escaped convict!" Demeter then burst into dramatic tears.  
  
"Now look what you've done!" Persephone cried, rushing to comfort her mother. She glared at Hades from over her mother's shoulder. She transferred her gaze to Thanatos and her expression softened. "Honey, why don't you go get Shinigami out of here? Your father and I need some time to talk this over."  
  
"But sweetie - " objected Hades, but was silenced by a look from his wife.  
  
Thanatos gave his mother a smile and snapped his fingers, vanishing without the slightested puff of smoke. Demeter detatched herself from her daughter, and likewise left, not without a considerable amount of venomous looks at Hades. Finally they were alone together. Hades gave his bride a nervous smile. She merely narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
"Persephone, darling, let me explain - "  
  
"No! I don't want to here it, Hades! This stupid grudge you've held against Zeus has gone on long enough. What were you ~thinking~?"  
  
"Dear, I -"  
  
"You ~weren't~ thinking at all! And you'd better clean up this mess you've made or - or you won't get ~any~ nookie for the next few millennia!" Persephone declared, spamping her foot in the sand to make her point. Hades locked gazes with her. Eventually he looked rather like sulky puppy as lowered his pitch-black eyes and nodded. She smiled then, and kissed him. "Though you're sooo sexy when you're all maniacal and evil, I want my sweet little Hades back, mmkay? And I promise to reward you later... I'm not going to be leaving for a few hundred years..."  
  
Hades looked reluctant as he pulled away, but the thought of having Persephone to - er - keep him company in - uh - creative ways was enough motivation for him. He could wait to avenge himself as long as he had ~her~ with him... She was the reason he was imprisoned in the first place anyway. Plus he was just relieved that her harpy of a mother had left, and that she herself had stopped nagging and threatening.{1} And - he justified to himself - if the gods really were in a tizzy about this little attempt at overthrowing Zeus, then they must not be as distant as he thought. He snapped his fingers, and the winds stopped, then reversed, pulling the sand back into the Underworld. Then he eagerly embraced Persephone.  
  
"I did my part... now, what's my reward?" he murmured. He was pleasantly surprised.  
  
  
  
Meiran led him around so many bushes and streams that Wufei was sure she had no idea where she was going. He let her know this, too, and this made for some interesting conversation as they walked, usually involving their doubts about the other's ancestry and/or intelligence. Finally Meiran stopped and pointed at a clearing. Wufei's heart soared. There sat Duo, looking perfectly content on the soft ground as a woman who bore a slight resemblance to him brushed his incredibly long unbound hair. She was talking in a steady flow, not unlike Duo often did, and surprisingly Duo was silent except for an occasional laugh.  
  
"There he is. Go get him, Dragon," Meiran said, mock-punching Wufei on the arm. "It was... good to see you again..."  
  
"Yes... Thank you for your help..." Wufei responded awkwardly.  
  
"And... Wufei..." she paused, figetting, not meeting his eyes.  
  
"What?" he asked, puzzled. He'd never seen Meiran nervous before.  
  
"I - I'm... sorry. For being a weakling and dying like that," she said in a rush, a pale blush coloring her features. "Don't... hesitate to tell him how you feel. Because you never know when you might not be able to anymore..."  
  
The import of what she was saying hit him, and he looked at her in shock. "Meiran...?"  
  
"Don't make the mistake I did. Good-bye, Wufei. Never loose sight of Justice," she said, and before he could respond, she'd kissed him on the cheek and run out of sight. He just stood there, blinking repeatedly as he touched his cheek. Then he shook himself. He could puzzle out her actions later, when he'd delivered Duo from here. He entered the clearing.  
  
  
  
"- and then your father said, 'Well, at least the shoes go with it!'" Kayla declared, and both she and Duo went off into fits of laughter. A sudden polite cough sounded from beside them. Duo looked up and his eyes widened as Wufei stepped into the clearing. Or at least, it looked like Wufei... except, when did Wufei get large green dragon-wings?   
  
"Wu-bear? Is it really you?" he asked, his eyes narrowing as he recalled the psuedo-Wufei from he vision Hades had created.  
  
"Of course I am, Maxwell," the Wufei-dragon-boy said, annoyance, tension, and something incomprehensible thick in his tone. "And don't call me Wu-bear!"  
  
"Wufei! It ~is~ you!" Duo stood and bounded over to him, glomping a very startled Wufei. Then he felt something moist on his chest as Wufei stuggled weakly in his arms. He pulled away, looking down. Something red was smeared on his chest, and there were dark stains on Wufei's ragged-looking tanktop. "Fei, what happened?"  
  
Wufei looked embarrassed. "We haven't got time for this. The Underworld is merging with the real one, and we've got to get out of here before it's too late."  
  
"What?" Kayla cried, jumping up. "What was I thinking? Of course you need to get out of here, dear. The Gates of Hades won't close if there's a living mortal in here!"  
  
"What?" Duo shouted, feeling a wave of understanding wash through him. He'd been neatly tricked into staying here, unwittingly doing exactly what Hades wanted. "Dammit! We've got to get out of here!"  
  
"No, really?" Wufei asked sarcastically. Then he turned away. "Unfortunately, I seem to have gotten lost... I don't know the way back to the Gate."  
  
"Well, you could follow me," a soft reedy voice said before anyone's hopes could sufficiently be crushed. Duo whirled, reaching for a gun that wasn't there. Behind him stood a short lithe man with a cloud of white hair and glowing purple eyes. "I know the way."  
  
"Thanatos?" Kayla whispered as if not believing her eyes. She ran over to him, much as Duo had done to Wufei, only this pair shared a passionate kiss.   
  
"Hello, Kayla. No time to chat really," Duo's father said. "I don't know if Mother succeeded in convincing Hades to let Duo go, and I'd rather not stay to find out. I'll come back for you, love."  
  
"You'd damn well better," she whispered back throatily. She relinquished her hold on the God, and turned to Duo. "It was good to see you, son. I hope we can again, some day. But it had better not be soon."  
  
Duo blinked back a sudden stinging in his eyes as his mother hugged him fiercely.  
  
"It won't be. I love you, Mom," he whispered into her ear so no one else could hear.  
  
"I love you, too. And honey, you should tell him how you feel. You'll feel better, trust me," she said back in similar fashion. Duo started and pulled back. His mother was grinning widely, and she gave him a large wink. Then she suddenly ran off into the dense forest around them. Duo stared after her. Had he been so obvious...?  
  
"We'd better hurry," Thanatos reminded him, putting an arm on his shoulder. He nodded absently. "Then come closer around me. I shall attempt to take us to the Gate."  
  
As they came closer to Thanatos, Wufei spoke.  
  
"Attempt? You mean it might not work?"  
  
"Due to the nature of the Gate, it is constantly moving within the Underworld. Only Hades himself knows exactly where it is all the time, and I don't think he'll be willing to help with this."  
  
"So it's basically hit-or-miss," Duo said, rolling his eyes. "Perfect."  
  
"Brace yourself, this may feel a little weird," Thanatos said then snapped his fingers.  
  
  
Quatre bit his lip worriedly. Wufei had been done there an awful long time. And the change of the direction of the sand was startling. The sand was retreating much more rapidly than it had appeared, and the rift in the earth was closing just as quickly. At this rate, even if they managed to get out of the Underworld, they'd be crushed before they could reach the top of the chasm.  
  
"Come on, you guys," he whispered. "Hurry."  
  
  
Wufei would have given a sarcastic laugh at Thanatos's words. 'A little weird' didn't even begin to describe the strange, stomach-lurching, mind-bending, limb-rending feeling that came after the snap. He was thankful that it lasted only a fraction of a second, but his head continued to pound afterwards. Duo moaned and stumbled. Wufei caught him before he'd hit the ground.  
  
"Are you all right?" he asked, gritting his teeth against the pain in his head.   
  
Duo grinned weakly at him. "Yeah, just a little whoosy. Are we there yet?"  
  
"Nearly. The Gate is over there," Thanatos said, gesturing. "I'm afraid I can't follow you into the mortal world. But I shall distract Cerberus for you."  
  
"Thank you," Wufei said formally, nodding slightly. Duo straightened, letting go of Wufei slowly, and smiled widely at his father.  
  
"Yeah, thanks Dad. And do me a favor, would you? Don't invite me to any of the family reuniouns," Duo joked with a big wink. Thanatos smiled more widely this time.  
  
"I don't think you'll have to worry about that. Good bye, Shinigami and Avatar of Justice. Fare you well," Thanatos said.   
  
Without further hesitation, Wufei tugged Duo away, breaking into a run for the strange Gate. They had reached the Gate when a resounding growl rang out. Wufei threw Duo forward, putting himself between the montrous dog and his friend, ready to to battle. Then he himself was pushed out of the way.  
  
"Didn't I say I'd distract him? Go!" Thanatos yelled over a roar, hurling a large white wedding cake at the   
  
Wufei took the hint scrambled out after Duo. They stood at the bottom of the pit and sand blew into their eyes and faces. The wind was howling, picking up speed, and the walls were closing much to fast for their comfort. Wufei grabbed the coughing form of Duo and lifted him up.  
  
"HOLD ON!" he shouted over the wind.  
  
"GOOD ADVICE, FEI-BABE!" was the mildly sarcastic responce in his ear as Duo wrapped arms around his neck. Wufei readjusted his grip, trying not to get tangled in Duo's mass of hair, then sprang into the air.   
  
Wind buffeted him, making it incredibly hard to gain altitude and even harder to stay in control. Grimly he struggled, ever mindful of the cliff walls closing around him. The fact that Duo's hair only whipped him in the face as much as the sand did only made it worse. A sudden strong gust forced him off course, smashing him against the side. He heard a sickening crack as his wing broke. He spread his unwounded wing wide, trying desperately to stay aloft.  
  
"WUFEI!" Duo shouted.  
  
"Duo..." he said, his words getting lost in the sound of rushing wind. They were tossed about, striking the side again. He did his best to shield Duo with his body. Stars of pain clouded his vision and they began to fall. "I've failed you..."  
  
"WUFEI, DON'T YOU DIE ON ME NOW, DAMMIT!!" Duo screamed into his ear. "COME ON! WE'RE ALMOST TO THE TOP!"  
  
"Sorry," Wufei said, futiley trying to pump his wings as wind wrenched the dragonic appendages around. In a haze of pain, he found his gaze locked with Dou's. He recalled Meiran's advice, and, certain he was about to die, took it to heart. "I love you."  
  
He was aware of the violet eyes widening in shock. He himself was surprised Duo had heard him at all... Or maybe he'd read his lips... Wufei disorganized thoughts fled as there was a horrible twisting of the world as he hit the ground.  
  
  
The Gods and pilots watched with sinking hearts as the chasm closed completely. Neither pilot had emerged. Quatre let tears flow unashamedly, and was surprised when Trowa wrapped him in a comforting hug, which he returned gratefully, weeping into the taller boy's shoulder. Thalia was likewise teary-eyed, but Aphrodite and Eros looked philosophical.  
  
"Their efforts weren't in vain," Aphrodite comforted. "They obviously escaped, else the Gates wouldn't have been able to close. They saved your world."  
  
"Ninmu kanryou," Heero said reverently.   
  
  
  
"So... this... is heaven," Duo said aloud. He couldn't help but feel extrememly disappointed.  
  
White. It was really really white. He looked around. Yep. ~Everything~ was white. And misty. He was alone. Where was Wufei? A stab of hyper-intense worry shot through him.   
  
"No, not really," a deep, resonating masculine voice said from behind him. Duo whirled to see a tall man with curly dark brown hair and golden olive brances tucked behind his ears. And his toga was white too.  
  
"Then where am I? Where's Wufei? How did I get here?" he demanded. He was too worried about his Fei-chan and too sick of gods dragging him off on whims to be polite. The chestnut-haired god merely smiled soothingly.  
  
"Calm down, Shinigami, or Duo, whichever you call yourself. This is Mount Olympus, home of he Gods. When you escaped the Underworld, we transported you here. Your beloved is safe, and his wounds are being tended to by Athena as we speak. But while he is being healed, I have to talk with you about certain things," he said, giving Duo a stern look. "One of which is your apparent godliness."  
  
Duo, adrift in warm relief upon hearing Wufei's safety, nodded. "Let me guess, you don't want me to be a god?"  
  
"Something like that. You see, here on Olympus, we all have remained static for the past few millennia. There aren't any real job openings, especially in your end of the field. It would be imprudent," the god said, looking quite practical. "And do you really want to be a god anyway? Think carefully. I won't force you to deny your godhood. If you wish it, you may become a full god and live here among us."  
  
"What exactly does that entail? I assume there are catches to being a supreme being," Duo said with a mocking grin.  
  
"Well for one you will have to give up your mortality, and your mortal friends. You'd have to find a theological niche to fill, and then you'd have to do that for the rest of eternity. It gets boring. And your contact with the mortal world would be severely limited. While there are some rule brekers up here, myself, your father, and Eros included, generally we are forbidden to fall in love with mortals. I think this would be the most helpful factor in deciding," the god added after a meaningful pause.  
  
It would've been tempting. All that power, no more war, and all the ambrosia he could eat! But the thought of living for eternity without his Fei-chan decided him against it. Even if he did break the rules, Wufei would still be mortal and would eventually die. From his mother's reaction to Thanatos showing up, he guessed that it didn't happen very often, if ever. And Duo wasn't willing to risk it. Especially since he had an inkling of what Wufei was trying to tell him before they'd been puffed here.  
  
"It's a good offer, but I think I'll pass. Being a demi-god is enough for me," Duo said.   
  
The god sighed with relief.   
  
"Good. Now that ~that's~ settled, would you like to go back to your world?"  
  
"I want Wufei, ~then~ I'd be glad to take him and get out of your hair," Duo replied. The god smacked himself on the forehead.  
  
"How forgetful of me. Of course," he said and snapped his fingers. Wufei and a tall woman in silver armor appeared in a puff of white smoke. The woman stood from her crouching position next to the prone body of Wufei.  
  
"Father, I wish you wouldn't do that. Mortals aren't made to handle our method of transportation," Athena said with a professional frown.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Duo asked, worry coming back full force as Wufei didn't stir.  
  
"Nothing. Healing takes a lot out of mortals; he'd sleeping it off to regain his energy. He already used up quite a bi of it with those rediculous wings. Next time, tell Eros not to give him the bow and arrows. I think that's what triggered it," she said, still calmly professional. "He'll be fine in a few hours. Just don't transport them back to earth. Not in the usual way, at least. That could make him slip into a coma."  
  
"You're the healer," Zeus agreed with a jaunty smile. "Now, how to send you two home... I've got it!"   
  
As he said this, he snapped his fingers. Duo found himself next to Wufei, floating on a puff of white cloud far bove the earth, which looked as it did from space. Only it couldn't have been space because there was plenty of air to breathe and it wasn't cold. He looked back, expecting to see clouds or any sign of the place he'd just left, but there was none. So he sighed and watched as they drifted lazily down toward earth.  
  
He was almost asleep from boredom when he heard Wufei move next to him. He snapped to alertness and watched anxiously as Wufei sat up, blinking slowly.  
  
"D-Duo?" Wufei asked, clearly puzzled. "What happened?"  
  
"Well, we were falling and then I thought we died and I'd gone to heaven, but it was only Mount Olympus and Zeus tlaked to me about being a god, and I said I didn't want to and then Athena came with you and Zeus put us on this cloud thingy and now we're going back down to earth, and gods 'Fei don't you ~ever~ do that again!" Duo said in one breath. "I thought you were ~dead~!"  
  
After a stunned pause as Wufei organized Duo's babble, he said, "So did I. Did you - did you hear me say something? Before we got puffed to Olympus?"  
  
"Ah... maybe... wanna refresh my memory?" Duo asked innocently as he could. Here it came...  
  
Wufei looked embarrassed and his mouth worked but couldn't seem to form words. Then he looked away from Duo and mumbled something.  
  
"What? I didn't catch that."  
  
"I said 'I think I love you,' dammit!" Wufei shouted suddenly, glaring up at Duo and turning red.  
  
Duo, for all his hopes, was shocked into speechlessness. He'd actually admitted it! Duo resisted the urge to swoon, as he'd probably fall off the cloud. Wufei looked away after the silence went on for a few moments.  
  
"I know you don't like me, but I thought I should tell you," he said quietly, evenly. Had Duo not known him as well as he did, he would've missed the slight tinge of hurt underlying the words. He felt angry at himself for not acting faster. But was the Chinese boy ~really~ that slow on the uptake? Without thinking, he tackled Wufei.  
  
"Baka! You are so dense! Not ~like~ you? Come on! ~Everyone~ else saw it, even my mom! And ~she'd~ only just met the both of us!" he shouted into Wufei's face as he pinned the unresisting boy to the soft fluffiness of the cloud.  
  
"What are you saying?" Wufei asked, confused. Duo rolled his eyes in exasperation.  
  
"I'll say this in words even you can understand. I think I love you, too!" he said plainly, then kissed Wufei.  
  
  
After the initial shock, Wufei responded, wrapping arms around Duo's neck. He was half-expecting to wake up and find that this whole episode was a dream, but the warm reality of Duo was too good to be false. Tingles ran down his spine as the kiss went on... and on... and on...  
  
Finally they broke apart for breath. Duo grinned at him from above, face flushed.  
  
"Get it?" he asked, panting a little.  
  
Wufei gave him a wry smirk.  
  
"I think I'll be able to piece it together," he assured him, then pulled him down for another kiss. He was utterly dismayed, though, when a wave of dizziness passed over him. He broke the kiss and squinched his eyes closed.  
  
"Fei-babe, are you all right?" Duo asked worriedly.  
  
"I feel... dizzy," he answered. He opened his eyes as Duo got off of him.  
  
"Oh yeah, I shouldn't've done that. Athena, the chick who healed you, said you're recovering your energy. She said you'd have to sleep it off, and you kinda woke up early or something," the American explained sheepishly. "Sorry. I guess I took a lot out of you."  
  
"So this means - "  
  
"Right... But we can still cuddle..." Duo offered, blushing cutely.  
  
Wufei felt himself blush as well. "Er - Duo?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"How do you cuddle?"  
  
His flush deepened as Duo grinned at him.   
  
"I'll show you."  
  
  
  
  
  
{1}- Who'd have thought Hades would be so whipped? ^_^ whi-chishh!  
  
  
One more part to go! Epilouge! Review! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Duo: Hey, look! Wufei and I actually got some! *V*  
  
Wufei: ::blushing:: Hn... EEP! ::is glomped by Duo:: 


	8. Epilouge: Thalia's Revenge

Author's Note: ::dodges angry muses:: Sorry! Geeze, this is the last part and it's short, too. And it's fluff! No torture, no suspense, no action, no angst, just FLUFF!!! Ok? Ok. Now, here's the last bit of this series. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the G-boys, Greek mythology has been made into a horrible mess, OOCness most likely, shonen ai, POV switching but not really clearly marked. No flames please though I don't know why anyone would flame this. Squiggly lines ~ ~ are for emphasis.  
  
  
  
"CANNONBAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!"  
  
The cry was the only warning before Duo plunged into the pool, taking Wufei with him. The six somber people on the patio looked over in shock as they were drenched by the spash. The cloud Wufei and Duo had ridden in on was already dissipating, and the two were climbing out of the pool as the others watched.  
  
"Duo! Wufei! You're alive!" Quatre cried joyfully, running over to them and glomping them both. "Oh I'm so glad to see you, you saved the world and we thought you were dead, but you're not because you're here and I was so worried but it's all right now!"  
  
"Qu-Quatre! Can't - breathe - " Duo gasped as Wufei slowly turned blue.  
  
"Oh! Sorry," the blonde said and released them. "What happened?"  
  
The other pilots and gods gathered around, and Duo explained all in a way similar to Quatre's emotional outburst, which left everyone vaguely confused and looking to Wufei, who clarified everything as he rung water out of his rather worse-for-wear tanktop.  
  
"So, did you guys confess your eternal love for one another?" Aphrodite asked tactlessly. Everyone stared at her and Duo and Wufei blushed. "What? Why are you all looking at me like that?"  
  
"Yeah, we did. Sorta. Not that it's any of ~your~ business, onna," Wufei said proudly.  
  
"Hey, you watch your mouth li'l mister!" the Goddess of Love snapped, the sighed mushily. "Oh, if only I'd had my scrying pool... That must've been ~the~ most romantic moment."  
  
Wufei and Duo caught each other's eye. Duo burst out laughing and Wufei smirked. Aphrodite looked offended.  
  
"Hn! See if I do you two any favors!" she said huffily, then snapped her fingers and vanished in a puff of pink smoke.  
  
"Good riddance," Thalia said, rubbing her hands together. "Mission accomplished, eh, Eros?"  
  
Eros flexed his wings.   
  
"Yeah. But we've got a debt to pay."  
  
"Oh yeah! Hey Quatre! Have ~you~ confessed ~your~ undying love yet?" she said, turning to the Arabian, who blushed.  
  
"N-no, that's all right, you guys really don't owe me anything - " he sputtered, trying to stop them from saying what he thought they were going to say.  
  
"Hey, Trowa! Did you know that Quatre has this monster crush on you?" Thalia shouted with a huge wink and silly grin. Trowa's visible eye widened, Quatre turned beet-red, Duo giggled, Wufei's smirk widened, and Heero merely snorted. Eros buried his face in his hands.  
  
"Thalia, you have absolutely NO tact," he groaned.  
  
"Quatre, is that true?" Trowa asked quietly. Quatre looked like he wanted to sink into the ground, but he nodded miserably. "Well, I do, too."  
  
Quatre looked up, completely shocked. Did he hear right? Trowa liked him? ~That~ way? Oh joy!  
  
"Really?" he asked, locking eyes with the taller boy. He got a nod in return. He sighed and his eyes rolled up in his head as he fainted. A surprised Trowa caught him.  
  
Thalia and Duo both were having fits by now, Eros and Heero exchanged glances of complete understanding, and Wufei rolled his eyes at the lot of them. Bakas.  
  
Quatre came round to find himself staring into deep green eyes. He really like Trowa's eyes. And then he timidly planted a kiss on Trowa's lips. After a second, Trowa kissed back. They pulled away when cheers erupted behind them. Quatre stood upright with the tiniest bit of help from Trowa and glared lightly as Duo gave a loud wolf-whistle.  
  
"Trowa, you horn-dog! Can't you wait till we're all gone to comsumate? Right now we've got to celebrate! We saved the fricken world!" Duo broke off in a loud yelp, though, as Wufei pulled him close by a handful of sopping-wet, unbound hair.  
  
"You talk too much," he accused, then sealed Duo's lips with a quick kiss. Well, it was meant to be a quick kiss...  
  
"Hey! Break it up you two!" Thalia threatened. "Don't make me get the hose!"  
  
Reluctantly they did so. Quater and Duo grinned like idiots and   
  
"Heero, you start up the grill, and I'll get some hamburger out! We're gonna have an old fashonied American barbeque!" Duo declared, dragging Wufei with him as he ran into the house.  
  
"Hey! What - " Wufei began to object, but Duo cut him off with a whisper in his ear.  
  
"I need some help getting things from the pantry... wanna help?"  
  
Recalling some rather ~interesting~ items in the pantry, Wufei ceased his struggles and followed Duo eagerly. Trowa and Quatre, meanwhile, had decided to go for a swim in the ~other~ swimming pool, the one with a twenty foot privacy fence and a lock on the gate, both of which they made good use of. While Heero sighed resignedly, put on the "Kiss the Cook" barbeque apron, and tried to get the charcoals lit, Eros and Thalia decided it was time to make a discreet exit.  
  
"Hah! See, I can ~too~ be a matchmaker!" Thalia delared once they were back in their own plane of existance.  
  
"Hn. Beginners luck," Eros grumbled. "And we can't take credit for Wufei and Duo. Quatre was the only one who did anything with those two."  
  
"We chose 'em, didn't we? But I single handedly got Quatre and Trowa together, so there! You lost your bet."  
  
"What bet?"  
  
"This morning when your mom first gave us this mission, you bet that I'd screw everything up and you'd have to bail me out. You were so wrong! Oh yeah!" Thalia did a happy little victorious dance. Eros snorted and walked on.  
  
"Well you lost your bet, too. You said I'd get a pie in my face, and I haven't so - " Eros broke off as he turned when he heard the sinister snicker. His eyes widened as he watched Thalia lazily as snapped her fingers and a lemon-maurange pie appeared in her hand. "You wouldn't..."  
  
She grinned even more widley in responce and nodded evilly. Eros 'meeped' in a very un-godlike way and began to run away as fast as he could. Thalia followed eagerly.  
  
"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!"  
  
*SPLAT*  
  
"-AHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha ahaha ha... huh? AHHHHHHHHHHHHGGG!!!" Thalia turned and bolted way as a very lemon-maurange-covered and very pissed off Eros followed her with a drawn bow.  
  
"I'm going to make you fall in love with Cerberus! No, with a hydra! With Heero Yuy! Just wait till I get my hands on you!"  
  
"Why *pantpant* Erry! I'm flattered *pant* but *gasp* wouldn't Psyche get mad?" she taunted.  
  
"Arrrg!"  
  
"Eep!"  
  
  
  
  
Well it's all over. ::burts into tears:: ::G-boys sob for joy and muses do a celebratory dance:: That's it. It's done. ::sniff::  
  
Eros: ::still covered in lemon-maurange:: You are soooo dead, Thalia.  
  
Thalia: Oh quit yer bitchin! Don't you see the advantage this?  
  
Eros: What advantage?  
  
Thalia: ::rolls eyes:: Why don't you go see if Psyche knows any creative ways to get this cleaned off?  
  
Eros: What's that got to do with anythi- ...ohhhh, I get it... er - I'll be back later... ::runs off to find Psyche::  
  
...Erry wait! It's review time!   
  
Eros: ::very distant:: Not now, I'm busy!  
  
-_-; Hmmm, guess I'll have to improvise... Thalia! You know what to do!  
  
Thalia: I do? ::receives glare:: Oh - uh - yes! I do! Uhhh... ::takes a rubber chicken out from pehind her back and brandishes it like a sword:: Review, dammit! Or I'll whomp you with my deady chicken!  
  
Wufei: Onna, no one's going to be threatened into reviewing with a weak rubber chi-  
  
*WHOMP*  
  
Wufei: Oooooh preeeettyy staaaarsss...  
  
Thalia: REVIEW!!! OR FEEL THE WRATH OF MY DEADLY CHICKEN!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!   
  
::sigh:: You just can't get sane help these days... 


End file.
